PARASHAT HASHAVUA: ON NAZIR, SOTA, AND TRUE UNION

Beit Midrash

Sections
Chemdat Yamim
Parashat Hashavua

קטגוריה משנית

Torah Portion and Tanach
Bamidbar
Naso

Female Lesson Parashat Hashavua Series'Library Piskei Din (Hebrew)Test Yourself

The order of sections in our parasha enforces an important moral lesson. The proximity of the matter of nazir to sota (woman suspected of infidelity) teaches us that one who sees the plight of the sota should separate himself from wine (Berachot 63a). Indeed, alcohol is not only physically harmful, but it is spiritually destructive. Chazal’s message does not single out women avoiding the path of the sota, which can be caused by intoxication, but also to a man who allows himself to be in surroundings of drunkenness. The advice to one in such surroundings is to accept the restrictions of a nazir, which forbids him to drink wine.
It appears that the Torah deals more strictly with an unfaithful wife than with an unfaithful husband. But the Torah teaches that in order to experience the Divine Presence, there should be a proper relationship between one man and one woman. The Torah calls couples, a man who "leaves his parents and clings to his wife and become one flesh" (Bereishit 2:23-24).
Admittedly, the Torah allows a man to marry more than one woman, which was a sociological need in yesteryear. However, the Torah consistently stressed the problematic nature of having multiple wives. Lemech lamented his lot to his two wives, and he turned into the second recorded murderer (ibid. 4:19-23). After Cain killed his brother, Lemech killed his son. Chazal lamented about such men and their two wives, one for childbearing, who was mistreated, while the other one for his enjoyment was rendered sterile with ancient drugs and occupied herself with beautification. Indeed, in polygamy, at least one wife would be treated improperly.
When the Torah discusses the laws of two wives (Devarim 21:15), one of them is described as "hated." The next section discusses the wayward son (ibid. 18), which is no coincidence. The navi (Shmuel I, 1:6) calls a co-wife a tzara (a cause of pain). In all of Tanach, there is no polygamous relationship which is presented as an ideal union.
So why is the unfaithful wife worse than the unfaithful husband? Until recent times, relations made it very likely that children would be born, and the prospect of a husband having to raise his wife’s illegitimate child was unfair to the husband financially and emotionally. If a man took two wives, he would rightfully be responsible for the welfare of the children of both.
We will end off with another perspective. The waters that checked the sota to see if her denial of impropriety was correct only worked when the suspicious husband was free of any sexual impropriety himself (Yevamot 58a). The obligation of fidelity cuts two ways. No house can have the dwelling of the Divine Presence unless both he and she are worthy of it.
Reviewing the salient lessons: 1. Men and women must not become intoxicated, which opens the door to sin. 2. Ideally, a household has one husband and one wife. 3. The goal of a couple is to create a home for the Divine Presence, impacting both parents and children. 4. The obligation to be loyal is mutual in marriage, and it is the basis for peace and fraternity, within the family and in harmonious successful life.

Naso

Parashat Hashavua