Rabbi Elchanan Lewis
Question
Shalom, I started to know someone who is 20 years older then me. I’m 25 and he is 45. He never got married before because he didn’t find the right woman. He is very different from many people, just like me. I find many things in common between us. Both of us are "Ba-aley Tshuva" . I didn’t get to know him very well, since I first wanted to ask about that . I know it’s not a normal thing, but something else happened to me with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and I don’t even know him. What should I do ? Are there any questions that I need to ask myself or anything that I should check before I’m getting to know him better ? Thank you very much!
Answer
Shalom I can’t obviously tell you whether he is a good match. You are right that this is not common and not recommended and therefore you should make sure he is the man for you, be reasonable and suspicious, but don't reject it only because of his age. I can only tell you that; between my paternal grandparents were twenty years of difference and seventeen between my maternal grandparents. Both lived happily ever after. Behatzlacha
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