Beit Midrash

  • Torah Portion and Tanach
  • Vayera
To dedicate this lesson

There's No Such This as "I Used to Be Religious"

There is a certain difficulty that every teacher (and parent) faces: You work hard, try to educate and advance your child, and very often you feel that nothing is moving; you feel failure...

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Rabbi Netanel Yossifun

Heshvan 17 5783
Translated by Hillel Fendel

A Torah scholar once told me this story:

"When I was a young married student, I was learning in a Yeshiva, and a group of high-school boys came in. These were boys who were making some trouble in their school, which decided to 'exile' them for a short time to our Yeshiva, in the hope that the atmosphere would have a positive influence on them.

"The high school wanted one of us older guys to 'take care of them, and was even willing to pay – and I got the job. I invited them to my house, my wife prepared snacks for them, and of course we learned together. After a short time, the boys left. I asked later if I had done a good job, and I heard that the answer was, actually, "no." They had anticipated a very charismatic fellow who would really wow the students, and I didn't meet their expectations. Despite my best efforts, it was clear that I had failed…

"Three decades passed. One day, I was visiting somewhere, and a nice Jew walks over to me with a curious look on his face. He asked me my name, and when I told him, he smiled and said, 'I was one of those high school guys, if you remember… You should know that my experience in your house and with you changed my life. The special atmosphere in your home, the deep and genuine connection to Torah that I sensed in both of you, caused me to decide to similarly build this connection; I went to Yeshiva and began building my life as a Torah Jew…'"

This simple story depicts the difficulty that every teacher (and parent) faces: You work hard, try to educate and advance your child, and very often you feel that nothing is moving; you feel failure.

But in truth, the second part of the story should be very encouraging. Good education is not a snap deal, but rather works often over long ranges. Its results very often sprout and blossom only years later. One who truly teaches Torah and awe of G-d for the sake of Heaven and not merely to impress others, will merit, with G-d's help, that his work will pay off in the end. So wrote Rav Kook in his famous Letter 555: "The actions of wise men who deal with these souls [i.e., of the non-righteous] will never end up being in vain."

Rav Kook then elaborates: "Sometimes the one who is influenced by them will improve his ways; and sometimes something will penetrate and he will end up doing teshuva much later; and sometimes this influence will cause his descendants to do teshuva, and thus rectify him, along the lines of 'the son brings merit to his father.'"

We know that many Hassidic stories strengthen this point, teaching that sometimes Jews who are very far from Torah, returned in the end and did teshuva because of the connection that they, or their father, once had long before with a tzaddik.

Avraham and Lot

Actually, this topic appears for perhaps the first time in our weekly portion of Vayeira. G-d has told Avraham that He plans to destroy S'dom, whereupon Avraham starts trying to find righteous people whose merit can help avert the decree. He asks, "If 50 tzaddikim are found in the city – that is, righteous people who are involved with the people and who can have them do teshuvah – will that avert the decree?" G-d answers affirmatively, and Avraham continues to ask: "If there are 45? 40? 30? 20? 10?" G-d says yes – but in the end, even ten such people are not found. The Torah ends this story with what seems to be a let-down: "And Avraham returned to his place."

It thus appears that Avraham has failed in his mission. Despite his great efforts, S'dom remains evil and unredeemable – and G-d overturns it.

This failure also appears to be manifest from another angle. Lot, Avraham's first protégé, abandons him and joins up with wicked S'domites. Lot did not simply move from one apartment or town to another, but made rather a change of lifestyle, to one of materialism, selfishness, immorality, and maliciousness. Rashi (to B'reshit 13,14) tells us that once Lot joined up with S'dom, G-d did not deign to speak with Avraham for as long as Lot was with him. Though Avraham invested educational efforts in his nephew, he turned out to be a disappointment.

But in truth, when we delve deeper into the matter, we find that these efforts actually bore fruit. Let us see if Lot in fact became officially "wicked" when he moved to S'dom. When the angels help him escape from the burning city, they first tell him to escape towards Avraham (see Rashi to 19,17) – but he demurs, saying, "Lest the evil overtake me and I will die." What was his hesitation? Rashi explains Lot's words: "When I was in S'dom, G-d would see my deeds and those of the city residents, and I looked like a tzaddik, worthy of being saved – but if I go to Avraham, I will be considered an evil person, compared to him."

Two questions arise: Firstly, what was Lot - wicked, or a tzaddik? And secondly, the Torah tells us (verse 29) that Lot was saved in the merit of Avraham, whereas from Rashi here it sounds like he was saved in the merit of his own righteousness. Which is it? One of the primary commentaries on Rashi explains that Lot was actually saved in Avraham's merit, but he mistakenly thought that he was saved on his own merits.

But perhaps we can answer differently, based on the verse in which G-d says that He will descend and see if the S'domites are truly wicked. Onkelos explains that G-d is saying that he will check to see if they have done teshuva. But what opportunity did they have to do teshuva?

It would seem that their chance came when the angels arrived in S'dom; the residents could have welcomed the guests into their homes, and thus be saved from the terrible decree of destruction hanging over their heads. But instead, they all continued to sin, even demanding that Lot evict the visitors from his house so that they could attack them. Only one person did teshuva then: Lot – who became a tzaddik, relatively speaking, by fulfilling the Divine precept of hosting guests.

And what inspired him that night to return and entertain guests? It was Avraham's prayer and education! As Rashi says (19,1), "Lot learned from Avraham's house the value of seeking out guests." And Avraham's prayer before that fateful night of S'dom's destruction helped Lot: He said to G-d that perhaps righteous people would be found in the city - and thus Lot repented, became a righteous person, and was saved.

This answers our question: Lot was saved because of his deeds, which themselves were thanks to Avraham, who taught him, influenced him, and prayed for him – thus making him worthy of salvation.

And we see that the prayer and education of Avraham was not for naught, it bore fruit, it saved Lot and his daughters, from whom came King David, the Mashiah and reformer of the world!

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