I was with my daughter and small grandchildren at a family simcha in a moshav distant from my home. The night before, I spoke to a driver about bringing us home afterward because there were no buses available then. He agreed and I depended on that, but when he didnt come to pick us up at the agreed hour, I called to see what the matter was and he told me he wasnt coming. I was very upset. People knew I had closed with him to take us. When they saw me still in the hall they asked what happened. I was so angry and upset that I told them that this man said he would but changed his mind and abandoned us. This was loshon hora and I feel terrible about telling them (the driver lives on the moshav) even though people said they know that he is unreliable (I didnt know that he couldnt be trusted) so I caused them to speak loshon hora too. How can I make teshuva? Must I talk to the driver and tell him that I complained about him to people, many who know him? I think he will feel worse to try and imagine who knows and who doesnt--though he is a bit eccentric and maybe doesnt even care. Please tell me what to do according to the halacha ASAP. thank you.

ב"ה Shalom Firstly, allow me to say I'll feel sorry for what happened. There are two issues at hand and one is connected to the other. First issue: . Is it considered Lashon Hara if someone spoke of another person to relieve his anguish? In the book of the Chafetz Chaim on Lashon Hara, Rav Yisrael Meir HaCohen of Radin zt"l wrote that in order to relieve one's anguish, it is comes under the same category of telling Lashon Hara when it is for the benefit of others. That is to say, if you had asked somebody about the said taxi driver if he is reliable before you hired him, and they had answered you, that he is not reliable , in this case it is not considered a sin, since it was said to protect someone from bad service and or monetary loss etc. (See Hilchot Lashon Hara Klal 10: 13-14. ) But in order not to transgress by doing so one must adhere to seven rules, says the Chafetz Chaim. 1. That what is said was actually seen by the person and not heard from others. 2. The action must be scrutinized and thought about that what was seen is defined as wrongdoing. 3. The sinner must have been warned first in a soft manner so that maybe he would mend his ways .4. The wrongdoing should not be exaggerated 5. As said above it should be with good intentions and not to enjoy besmirching somebody else 6. If the benefit can be brought about without having to speak lashon hara. 7. That the harm stemming from the lashon hara should not be more than what would happen to the person if properly testified upon in a Bet Din. Second issue is, if someone actually did speak Lashon Hara about a person, should the person who spoke the Lashon Hara, when asking forgiveness, tell the person who the Lashon Hara was spoken about or will this only cause more resentment? There is an extensive discussion about this by Torah giants of the previous generation and it brought in the Hebrew counterpart of this website by Rav Danial Kirsh. The Chafetz Chaim zt"l said that one should ask forgiveness from him. However, Rav Yisrael Salanter at"l, said not to ask because this will cause embarrassment to the person who was spoken about. Some contemporary Rabbis say, that there was no real disagreement between these two giants, because the Chafetz Chaim did not speak about a case in which embarrassment would be caused to the person who is being requested to forgive. (See : אז נדברו ח"ז סוף סימן סו, חוט שני (יום הכיפורים עמ' קו הערה י) הערות הגר"א נבנצל למ"ב 'ביצחק יקרא' (תרו, סע' א). The bottom line being in this case being that before Yom Kippur, the speaker of Lashon Hara should ask for general forgiveness from the person he spoke about without going into details so as not to cause further anguish. (See: מקראי קודש (הררי) יום כיפור, (נספח י) תשובה ממרן הגר"א שפירא זצ"ל ) So in your case, if what said about the taxi driver was said to relieve your anguish as described above, there was no sin committed. If you think that you said was Lashon Hara and you want to ask forgiveness , you should ask for forgiveness in the way described in the previous paragraph, by asking general forgiveness without getting into specifics. . All the best