I have been working to better practice and follow the laws since I first moved out a little over a year ago. I have been struggling considerably. For example: 1) I have kept kosher since I was young, but not a great emphasis on the finer points of cooking. For example, we have separate meat and dairy pots, but we have only one sink. I didnt care about pouring or washing with hot water and the steam that comes off. I also didnt monitor what stove grates were used for meat or dairy. Similar things with the oven. Now with the new laws, it is getting to the point where all pots are basically unusable and its pushing me to an unhealthy path where packaged foods and fruits/nuts are the only options. That is very expensive and not sustainable. 2) I did not grow up doing the morning or bread handwashing. I have been trying to do that now. To do it properly, I have tried to be very careful. This is checking that each of the fingers are covered. Then ensuring the prayer is said precisely correct. This becomes a time-intensive (more than 15 minutes) and challenging task. Similarly, the ritual handwashing after touching secretions from eyes, ears, and nose and touching shoes...it becomes overly challenging deeply unpleasant. It is one thing to wash hands under a sink, it is another to do it ritually. I cannot do that routinely throughout the day. As I try to follow the laws better, things have become much stricter. I am finding it very difficult and its pushed me to an unhealthy direction. How do I continue to grow in Judaism and balance the needs of life, allowing me to perform a job and interact without being miserable throughout the day? The path I am on now is not sustainable.

ב"ה Shalom I understand you feeling and I will try to be helpful but there is a limit to what can be conveyed through a website. I can give some general guidelines, but I strongly suggest having a candid conversation with a Rabbi your feel well with to give you more detailed guidance. Your goal is to grow in Judaism and to become close to Hashem. Towards this goal a lot of learning is required to know what Hashem wants from us. Let's compare things for a moment to a new job. A person gets his or her college degree in a particular field and then lands a job. A person new at a job realizes quickly that there is a difference between that which is learned in theory and what happens in practice. Sometimes a person will require a mentor at a job until he or she learns the ropes. A person has to learn at a job, what are the base requirements, what things are done only by individuals on a different level, and what is only customary but not a full requirement. Similarly, in fulfilling Jewish law we must know the base requirements, what are stringencies, what is customary but yet not fully required. Also, you have to learn to do things gradually until you fully master things. Therefore, you should consult a Rabbi your feel well with to guide you in a way to live your Judaism in a pleasant way. In regard to keeping your kitchen kosher, in order to give you proper solutions , I must receive full details for each individual case. Nonetheless, even if a utensil indeed became non- kosher, depending upon the utensil, in most cases the utensil can be made kosher again. In regard to washing of the hands, I wrote about this a bit while back and I will copy here what I wrote then : After using a restroom, some poskim don't require washing your hands from a vessel. However, those who follow the kabbalists require 3 times from a vessel. Other examples, require washing without 3 times touching your feet or shoes, or scratching your hair, or concealed parts of your body. In these instances, if water is not available other means of cleaning such as hand wipes suffice. There are additional instances of having to wash your hands, after a haircut, cutting one's nails, leaving a cemetery . In addition, washing of the hands before bread is a simple thing. Your hands are clear and clean and then you pour the water from a vessel unto your hands twice consecutively , recite the bracha "al netilat Yadaiim" , dry your hands and say Hamotzie. All the best