I am a Baal teshuvah for 10 years. I began dating a woman who is perfect in every way, except that she is not observant. In fact, she is exactly the way I used to be before I became a Baal teshuvah. We want to get married desperately, but we cannot agree on Shabbat. She wants me to get into a car on Shabbat (she will drive) so that we can go to her family’s home for dinner or the beach, zoo, etc… This makes me feel uncomfortable, but I am very much in love with her. She has assured me that it won’t be every Shabbat and only sometimes. She has also told me that if I meet her on her level, we will “come up together.” I really don’t know what to do. I want to marry her, but I also don’t want to “turn my back on G-d.” If I do get in the car, I would make sure it’s electric, as I know it’s less problematic per Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach and his discussion of electricity on Shabbat. Am I allowed to make this concession to get married? I am 36 years old and am afraid I’m running out of time and I won’t find someone I love as much as her. Please help.

Hello and blessings, Explain to her that the fact that you keep Shabbat does not limit her—it limits you. You can go with her in a car for trips and other activities during the rest of the week. On Shabbat, you can sit together for the Shabbat meal and play games together. Tell her that by not using your phone, you are more available to her and to your family, rather than being occupied with other things. With G-d's help, may you marry and build a faithful Jewish home in Israel!