Hi, My question is not a very big one but i would like to gain clarity. Im a chassidish girl in shidduchim for several years. My father is very into bitachon and the fact that when it comes to shidduchim, the very minimal amount of hishtadlus is needed. Even though im getting older and my chances seem slim based on several circumstances, my father is calm and filled with bitachon. Several weeks ago I was away and I ate a shabbos meal at a family where many boys were hosted as well. i didnt focus on them but one of them caught my eye. it wasnt any appearances that spoke to me or any inner feelings that i felt, it was simply his demeanor, maturity, and beautiful manners that drew me. I thought of asking to find out who exactly he is, so maybe i can give it to a shadchan to forward to my parents. however i thought about my fathers emuna and decided that if this obe is my bashert, then Hashem has more than enough ways to send him to me, and none of my interaction is needed. As time is passing i keep on thinking back to that boy, and i know that ican trace him down by placing several phone calls. myquestion is, is that a breach in my emuna and bitachon, or is it a regular accepted thing to do?even if it is okay, should i stay away from doing it just because my fathers chinuch has taught me to rely fully? my father always says that shidduchim is not something that we pick ourselves, we wait for others to suggest it to us. i tried asking friends to do the trading down of that boy but none of them agreed to do it. what should my next step be? thank you!

Definitely don't wait, but act. That's the 100% accepted way (and it's not at all disobeying your father, but rather making most of the messengers your Father in Heaven is sending). Hashem sends one's bashert in many various possible ways, and you should surely "seize them". Your father will also be very happy for you to find your bashert, and he probably knows as well that there are various legitimate and kosher approaches regarding the balance of Bitachon (e.g. stressed by Breslav) and Hishtadlut (e.g. stressed by the Rambam). Regarding basic and important things like finding your soulmate, one is supposed to do as much Hishtadlut as possible, especially if you find that until now, the passive approach hasn't benefited. כתיבה וחתימה טובה לך ולביתך ולכל בית ישראל ויהי רצון שה' יצליח את דרכך בכל, ושימלא ה' כל משאלות ליבך לטובה!!