WHY 'DRAFTING GROOMS'?!- Parshat Shoftim | Rabbi Ari Shvat | Beit Midrash

Beit Midrash

Torah Portion and Tanach
D'varim
Shoftim

קטגוריה משנית

Parashat Hashavua Series'Library Piskei Din (Hebrew)Test Yourself

Our parsha lists 4 of the 5 famously exempted by the Torah from the optional wars of Israel (20, 5-8, see also 24, 5): one who is scared, just planted a vineyard, just built a house, and just betrothed or wed a bride. The Oral Law explains that contrarily, as soon as we are referring to a Milchemet Mitzvah (Rambam, Hil. M'lachim u'Milchamoteihem 5, 1= either a defensive war, or to conquer or defend the borders of Israel, or against Amalek), we immediately know that there are no exemptions: "In Milchemet Mitzvah everybody goes, even a groom from the yichud room and a bride from her chuppa" (Mishnah Sotah 8, 7 and Rambam Hil. M'lachim u'Milchamoteihem 7, 4), and clarifies the Aruch (Gilyon HaShas, Sotah 10a), "and how much more so Torah scholars", & how much more so since the founding of the Hashmonai brigade for Haredim. There's also no exemption for Jewish men who live in Oshkosh Wisconson.
The question is asked, why, of all of these 5 exemptions in optional wars (offensive battles to conquer lands outside of Israel), do our sages particularly choose the example of Mr. Groom, to show that all Israel is obligated in Milchemet Mitzva (like the wars of the IDF)? They could have written, "even someone AS HE PLANTS a vineyard must go to Milchemet Mitzva"?
I can think of 4 reasons why the groom is the classic example:
1. It's the most common, for many people never plant vineyards or build their own house, but BH most people do get married!
2. Many don't notice there are 2 different exemptions for grooms: one if he betrothed (did kiddushin) and didn't yet consummate (nissu'in), or alternatively if he did consummate the marriage, he is then exempt during his first year of marriage. In the days of the mishna, there was usually a year between the kiddushin and the nissu'in (today we do both under the chuppa), during which the groom would go and learn a trade and the bride prepared for the wedding and married life. Accordingly, the grooms in those days were exempt for 2 entire years. The groom at the precise moment of chuppa/yichud room, is right in the middle and has perhaps both (!) these exemptions. Chazal are saying that even this groom who has one exemption from right before the chupa/yichud and the 2nd exemption immediately following that moment, and is the most exempt person possible, even his two (!) exemptions don't exempt him from Milchemet Mitzva.
3. Even at the very moment one begins his married life, and the Torah stresses how much the new couple must concentrate on themselves and their new family, our sages teach that even then, if necessary, our national defense supersedes our familial or personal lives. Some may remember the officer Aharon Karov, who literally went off to Operation Cast Lead (2009/תשס"ט), the day following his marriage, where the news showed clips from his wedding and interviewed him, and he explained his decision from this precise quote, "in Milchemet Mitzva everyone goes 'even a groom from the yichud room and a bride from her chuppa'" (he was subsequently seriously wounded the following week, but BH survived and recuperated). This altruistic story sharpens how important serving in the IDF really is. One can suggest that breaking the glass at the wedding while vowing "… I will raise Yerushalayim above even my greatest joy" (Tehilim 137), is precisely teaching this message: that our national demands, like Yerushalayim, when necessary, are even above our most special personal or familial moments.
4. For those (like the Rambam, ibid, and as clarified towards the end of his introduction to Sefer HaMitzvot) who opine that this quote even obligates women in Milchemet Mitzva, the answer is clear why Mr. Groom is the prime and most extreme example to show that everyone is obligated here, because shockingly, even Mrs. Bride is!! [The complex issue of drafting women into the army is obviously beyond the scope of this concise framework, see my article, "In Milchemet Mitzva Everybody Goes" [Hebrew], Minchat Sapir- A Festschrift Presented to Yitzchak Sapir, (editors: Prof. Y. Rosenson and Dr. Y. Spanier), pp. 633- 653. But in today's context, women are needed to be with the children, for the husbands are demanded at the front. Also, women can't fill today's void for combat soldiers.]
In short, no one disagrees that the wars of the IDF, including the present one, are halachically considered a Milchemet Mitzva [e.g. R. E. Waldenberg, Resp. Tzitz Eliezer, III, 9 and vii, 48; R. Y. Herzog, Resp. Heichal Yitzchak, Or. Ch. 31 ; R. K. Tchorsh, "Milchemet Reshut, Mitzva and Obligatory", B'Tzomet HaTorah v'HaMedina, Jerusalem 5751, pp. 243- 252; R. Ovadia Yosef, Resp. Yichaveh Da'at II, 14; Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe Y.D. IV, ch. 33, and Ch.M. II, 78 ("only when the gentiles attacked Israel like Antiochus… where it is for self-defense, we went out to war during the Second Temple"); R. Y.Y. Halberstam (Tzanz-Klausenberg Rebbe), Resp. Divrei Yatziv, Ch.M. ch. 81, 3; R. Sh.Z. Auerbach, Resp. V'Alehu lo Yivol III, 354; R. Osher Weiss, Google: מנחת אשר הסתכנות להצלת], and accordingly, we appreciate the halachic obligation & greatness of all those who have left their families (yes, even the grooms!), jobs and yeshivot to serve and defend Am Yisrael & Eretz Yisrael already for hundreds of days, and their wives, who's greatness and role here cannot be underestimated!
Shabbat Shalom, Rav Ari Shvat (Chwat)

Shoftim