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Beit Midrash
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- Bemare Habazak - Rabbis Questions
Answer: We are glad you are well, b’chasdei Hashem. We praise your spiritual instincts under pressure and your attitude now, which are signs of a yerei’at shamayim. Although generally we frown upon makingnedarim, an eit tzara (time of acute need) is likely different (see Tosafot, Chulin 2b).
The Rama (Yoreh Deah 228:45) rules that one may not do hatarat nedarim on an oath taken with the hope of extricating himself from an eit tzara (not all agree – see Shut Maharam Mintz 79). He accepts (see Shut HaRama 103) the explanation of Shut Binyamin Ze’ev (266) that it is based on the rule that one must not do hatarat nedarim on a neder he made to receive a favor from another person (Rama, ibid. 20, which is the main issue in our recent article (Korach 5776)). In other words, one cannot ask someone for a favor with a promise to "pay" by a nedercommitment and then back out after getting what he wants, including or especially if the someone is Hashem. (One could have argued that, as opposed to one’s friend, Hashem can always take back what He gave. Some indeed say that, irrespective of permitted/forbidden, it is dangerous to "play games" with Hashem by undoing such oaths – R. Yehuda Hachasid, quoted by Yam Shel Shlomo, Gittin 4:40 and others).
The Rama (ibid.) and others do permit hatarat nedarim on nidrei eit tzara when necessary to facilitate a mitzva or when there is great need. However, for most people, X does not qualify as either.
The major factor for leniency is that you apparently did not verbalize a neder but just thought about it. In most cases, nedarim are effective only when verbalized, with tzedaka being an exception according to many (Rama, YD 258:13). A strong majority of poskim say that thoughts do not create a neder obligation for other mitzvot (see Aruch Hashulchan, YD 258:39; Kol Nidrei 59:1). In your case, refraining from A and B is not a mitzva.
Bemare Habazak - Rabbis Questions (654)
Rabbi Daniel Mann
209 - Halachic Ramifications of Ad-blocks
210 - Altering a Neder Made at a Time of Need
211 - Tisha B’Av Pushed Off Until Sunday
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While there is room to be lenient fully, it seems the proper Jewish thing is to keep what you really intended – eliminate C, which you believed is right and appropriate when asking mercy from Hashem. If Aand B are positive parts of your life, keep them. Hatarat nedarim on them is worthwhile (the Rama, YD 228:45 says it works even when it should not be done; the Shach 228:108 argues). Adding tangible thanks to Hashem, like accepting (bli neder) a different, practical good thing or giving extra tzedaka (see Kol Nidrei 7:12), is also positive.
May your prayers always be answered.
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 8- "Answering Questions on the Kuzari's Proof from Mass Revelation
Rabbis in Midrash
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Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 9 - "Seeing is Believing" (parag. 21-30)
These paragraphs elaborate on the theme that seeing and knowing is better than any attempt to prove logically, and begins explaining the difference between Israel and gentiles.
Ein Aya Various Universal Stages of the Geula Process
Rav Kook examines the various stages of redemption, explaining how (in addition to the obvious oft-mentioned stages of ingathering the exiles, reviving the Hebrew language, army, state etc.) the messianic dream of world prosperity, the State of Israel and world unity can and are realistically and logically gradually coming true.
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 8- "Answering Questions on the Kuzari's Proof from Mass Revelation
How do we know that the "claim" of mass revelation to 2,000,000 witnesses at Mt. Sinai is really true? This important class answers all of the questions skeptics ask about this claim of the Kuzari.
Ein Aya Armies Still Necessary for Balance & the War Against Wars
Rav Kook explains why the world was originally divided into the various seemingly contradicting ideologies and cultures, in order to develop each one respectively. Swords or armies symbolize how each respective ideology defends themselves, as well as deters their opposing ideologies and cultures. On the other hand, the messianic era will be one of peace, and Rav Kook explains the transition to that stage, which mankind is already undergoing.
The Land of Israel LGBT'S IN ISRAEL
The question was asked, how can one make Aliyah with the LGBT parades?
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 7 - Five Accumulative Proofs of G-d
As a preparation for the Kuzari's classic proof of G-d from the mass-revelation at Sinai, we start here with 5 other directions to strengthen our belief which also contribute to what the Kuzari will present as well.
Ein Aya Muscle & Meaning: The Dual Nature of Gevurah (Physical Strength)
Is physical strength and fitness a necessity or an ideal? Although it if often totally overlooked among topics of Judaism, Rav Kook writes that it clearly is also a necessity to deter the many enemies of Israel, but even in Y'mot HaMashiach, in the Messianic era, to a certain extent, it's ideal continues even after our enemies will have been finished off.
