I have a question, that I believe is somewhat different from other questions I have read on this subject, and that carries a certain degree of complexity. I am a college student in my early-mid twenties, and I have been dating this girl for about a year. We have been a great couple so far, but things get complicated when thinking about the future because she is not Halachically Jewish, even though she does feel a strong Jewish identity. Things get complicated when thinking about the future. Her father is Jewish, and the nuclear family do a certain amount of Jewish customs, including major holidays, but mostly in a reform sort of way. My family, however, I consider being Orthodox, even though I'm a bit on the lenient side of orthodoxy (maybe flexidox is an accurate term? although I would say I lie more on the orthodox than the flex side when push comes to shove, and mostly on important matters such as keeping Shabbat, all holidays, kashrut, etc...). So I guess what I'm looking for is any sort of guidance you could give me to navigate this. She has told me that she would gladly have an orthodox home, when it comes to things like kashrut, and keeping Shabbat (especially as it pertains to the education of the children of the house) and that she would convert as well (this is something she was thinking of doing before meeting me, but hasn't yet done any active steps towards it). However, I'm afraid that in her ideals, and her leanings, she will always be leaning more towards the reform way she was brought up with, and my ideal home is one where Yiddishkeit is always a priority, but more than that, it's a given. I place a very important emphasis on Torah as a center of life, while I don't think it's as central for her in her system of beliefs. The complexity comes, I suppose, in the fact that we are so good together, connect so well as people, and that she says that she is willing to do all these things (like kashrut and shomer shabbat, which would be deal-breakers for other people) that would make our household seem virtually identical to any orthodox household on the surface, but there is a chance that, somehow, it would not happen in its essence. I don't know how to measure how possible this is, how big our gaps in spirituality and connection really are, or how to navigate this situation. Hence, me asking for help. Again, I appreciate any advice you could give me. תן לי דעת

Shalom, I suggest that you speak to her about your concerns. You can explain to her that the Orthodox lifestyle that you would like to strive for is quite different from the Reform lifestyle. Additionally, communicate to her that Torah learning is an important part of your life. See what her response is. If she understands this and truly agrees to live in the lifestyle of an Orthodox family, then it sounds promising. However, I highly recommend that you contact a trusted Orthodox rabbi that knows you and can discuss the matter with you at length. All the best!