- Family and Society
- Conversion
Dating women who are in the process of converting
Question
Dear Rabbi,
2 months ago I met the most kind, intelligent and beautiful women I have ever met in my life.
We started dating and we fell in love. However, during our second date she mentioned that her father is Jewish, but her mother isn’t. She also mentioned that she is now in the process of converting into orthodox Judaism. As of this writing, she is already in the conversion process for 7 months.
After the second date I researched whether I am halachically allowed to date her and I found on Quora that it is prohibited by Shulhan Arukh to date someone who is in the process of converting, because this can lead the Bet Din to cancel her conversion, as by halacha, it would be possible for me to become an incentive for her to convert instead of her converting because of her love to Hashem.
Her Bet Din told her that she can date Jewish men as long as they follow the covenant fully (which is what I am already doing now).
She is following an orthodox conversion and is now keeping shmirat negia.
Can you please answer my question.
I do not want to take the risk of marrying with someone who is not Jewish, but at the same time, I do not want to lose a person with whom I fell in love with deeply and loves me back.
What should I do? am I still able to see her? Is there any way for me to not become an incentive for her to convert? if so, what are the restrictions?
I feel hopeless and terrified to lose her.
This is the link to the article on Quora: https://www.quora.com/Is-it-acceptable-to-date-during-ones-conversion-to-orthodox-Judaism
Answer
If as you wrote, "her Bet Din told her that she can date Jewish men as long as they follow the covenant fully", then that's your answer. If it's ok with them, than it's fine, because apparently they are already impressed that she is sincere about her conversion and is significantly clearly "on the way". Just clarify with her Bet Din to make sure that this is the case.

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