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While accepting fully the Divine Providence involved in Yaakov’s decision, perhaps we could find at least a hava amina - some answer to the question: what was he thinking?! As modern yet traditional students of Tanach like to do, let us look for a word or root that repeats itself in our story and identify a recurring theme that teaches us about the episode. The word that sticks out is davar, which usually means "a thing" or "matter" but also means "the thing he said." The brothers hated Yosef "for his dreams and (devarav) his sayings" (ibid.:8), in other words, the content of the dreams and the way he related the dreams to them. After involving his father in the telling of his offensive dreams, we are told that Yaakov scolded him and characterized the dreams, including the allusion to Yosef’s father and mother bowing down to him, as bizarre. Then it says that "Yosef’s brothers were jealous of him, and his father watched over the matter (davar)" (ibid.:11). Finally, Yaakov asks Yosef to return a report (davar) (ibid.:14). The different uses of the word must be more than a coincidence.
Let us suggest the following. The brothers blamed Yosef for the dreams themselves, which they attributed to Yosef’s aspirations, not a Divine revelation. That’s why they call him the "ba’al hachalomot" (lit., owner of the dreams), not their recipient (ibid. 19). On the other hand, Yaakov was upset with Yosef for sharing them as he had (davar), which was insensitive to his brothers. Yaakov wanted Yosef to act in a caring manner toward his brothers, to change the way each side looked at the other. Let him see their welfare (sh’lom, which can also mean, peace). He was willing for Yosef to do something somewhat dangerous to show them that he cared and was willing to do his part for the family. In this way, he would "return" the davar that had gone wrong. This was a risky but an understandable plan. He was unaware that, due to the intervention of the G-d of Avraham, the brothers were headed toward escalated conflict, while the outcome of unity would arrive 22 years and "two parshiyot" later.
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