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Beit Midrash
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- The Marital Relationship
Years ago, a young couple in their very early 30's came to us for consultation. Married for some 10 years, they had not been blessed with offspring, to their great sorrow. They had begun a process of fertility treatments in accordance with their specific issue, but these weren't working, and so the couple came to us. The couple appeared to be Torah-observant, but not strongly so. We discussed the problem, including the fact that they had undergone a traumatic experience years earlier when a deranged man forced his way into their home in the middle of the night and attacked them; the recovery process had been long and difficult.
Our conversation took longer than expected, and – amazingly fortuitously, as it turned out – it was time for the afternoon Mincha prayer. I suggested that we take a prayer break; the wife remained in the waiting room while her husband was happy to join me. On our way back from the synagogue, he turned to me and asked to tell me something – on condition that I not breathe a word of it to his wife. Emotionally and painfully, he told me that his wife had not immersed in a mikveh since their wedding, despite all his pleadings. He explained that she simply could not bear the thought of immersing before the female mikveh attendant (whose job it is to ensure that the immersion is kosher), or before anyone else. He felt tortured, and asked me for counsel.
I told him that first of all, he must take upon himself not to cohabitate with his wife until the matter is resolved – for the sin of doing so is a grave one – and that then the issue will come under Divine providence. I told him that the late Chief Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu had ruled that if there is no choice, no attendant need be there for immersion, as long as certain procedures were followed. I suggested that he explain this to his wife pleasantly, and that he arrange to travel with her to the mikveh and arrange for the attendant to remain outside while she immerses on her own. We then returned to our three-way meeting, discussed other procedural matters, and they set out on their way home.
Soon after, the husband informed me that his wife had agreed to the new arrangement – and a few months after that, he called to say that she was pregnant! Now, years later, they have a son and a daughter, healthy and whole!
[Note: The ruling of Rabbi Eliyahu has become more widespread in recent years, and although for various reasons it is important that a female attendant help and monitor an immersing woman, in many cases it is permitted for a woman to immerse alone. A competent Orthodox rabbi should be consulted in cases of doubt or need.]
The following story was told by one of the rabbis of Yeshiva.org.il:
A man approached me and said he wanted to start becoming Torah-observant – but that his wife was not interested in going to the mikveh as required. He said that she was very particular about cleanliness, and that the idea of going to a public mikveh, with its reputation for lack of cleanliness, actually repulsed her. No matter how many rabbis spoke to them and explained to them that there was no dispensation for physical contact between husband and wife without mikveh, she would not change her mind. The husband actually slept on the floor for a number of weeks, to ensure that he would not sin. Finally, G-d apparently saw his self-sacrifice and heard his prayers. The man heard one day that precisely opposite his house, a new, modern mikveh was being built. When the building was completed, the attendant contacted the woman and asked if she would like to come see it. The woman agreed, and when she saw its luxurious, spa-like conditions – it turned out to be one of the absolutely most lavish and well-appointed mikvehs in all of Israel! – and how clean and new it was, she agreed from then on to immerse there whenever necessary. Just another story of self-sacrifice for the mitzvah of mikveh with a happy ending!
Various Rabbis
Various Rabbis including those of of Yeshivat Bet El, such as Rabbi Chaim Katz, Rabbi Binyamin Bamberger and Rabbi Yitzchak Greenblat and others.
Moreshet Shaul Moreshet Shaul: A Crown and its Scepter – part II
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 294-5
P'ninat Mishpat Complaints about Contractor’s Work – part II
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
Rabbis in Midrash
Lessons
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Shoftim TESHUVA IN COURT OF LAW?
Parshat Shoftim-Chodesh Elul
Why does parshat Shoftim always come out during Elul? This innovative and central explanation is an eye-opener regarding many aspects of Judaism.
The Month of Elul TESHUVA IS THE ANSWER
The month of Elul serves as a vital time for self-reflection and personal accountability to prepare for true repentance.
P'ninat Mishpat P'ninat Mishpat: Realtor’s Fee on Large Commercial Building – part I
(based on ruling 85031 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
(based on ruling 85031 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
P'ninat Mishpat Complaints about Contractor’s Work – part II
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
Chemdat Yamim Moreshet Shaul: The Goal of an Agricultural Yeshiva – part I
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the laying of the cornerstone of the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh)
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the laying of the cornerstone of the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh)
Chemdat Yamim The Goal of an Agricultural Yeshiva – part II
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the cornerstone laying for the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh – 1938)
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the cornerstone laying for the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh – 1938)
Re'e NEVER EXTREME EXCEPT ISRAEL
Parshat Re'eh
Judaism is against extremism, so how can we understand the seemingly extreme statements found in our sages in favor of living in the Land of Israel and against living in Chutz laAretz? The article deals with the seeming contradiction between the strength of Free-Will and the strength of being influenced by our surroundings.
Ekev DANCE FOR ISRAEL- FOR YOUR BENEFIT
Parshat Eikev
Description: The 7 Haftarot we read after Tisha B'Av ("Shiva D'Nichemta") surely get us excited that they're coming TRUE, and awaken us to yearn, dance & join the return to Zion! The short article also deals with the problems and solutions facing the American Jewish community as discussed at a recent panel, as well as the question why Jews come from America to Israel to help when we face problems, but Israelis don't come to aid Jews in America when they face anti-Semitism.
P'ninat Mishpat P'ninat Mishpat: Complaints about Contractor’s Work – part II
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
Chemdat Yamim Moreshet Shaul: Twin Foundations
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 690
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 690
