Get a grip on yourself | Rabbi Stewart Weiss | Beit Midrash

קטגוריה משנית

Yakov is afraid; he is troubled, he is worried;
he is scared! His brother, from whom he wrested
the B’chora 3 decades ago, is on his way to meet
him. Will Esav take out his wrath on Yakov &
family after swearing back then he would kill
Yakov, only waiting for father Yitzchak to die?
Now, that moment of truth is fast approaching.

But fast-forward for a moment to the end of the
story: Despite all the hype & hysteria, what
looked like it would be a Battle Royale, a fight
to the finish, turns out to be – a dud! No
fisticuffs, only handshakes; no curses, only kisses. What happened?!

We’ll come back to that. But first, let’s take a
look at the fight that does actually occur: the
wrestling match with an unnamed angel. That
encounter is strange indeed. It begins with the
Torah contradicting itself: "And Yakov was left
alone, and he got ‘down & dusty (Va’yay’avek)’
with a man." Huh? If he was all alone, then who
was the man he was grappling with?

It seems clear that Yakov was wrestling – with
himself. He is trying to come to grips with his
essential being. Who, or what is he? Is he an
"ish tam," a wholesome, simply decent person? Is
he – as he once identified himself - an "ish
chalak," a "straight-shooter" with no strings
attached? (Chalak is a term in kashrut that means
"smooth," i.e. there are no adhesions attached to
the lung). Or is he rather a "smooth operator"
who resorts to less than honest, "extra-legal" devices to get what he wants?

This is what plagues Yakov & keeps him up at
night. All his life, he is confronted with
situations that test his moral character.
Sometimes he is the actor – as when he disguises
himself to get the birthright, or uses genetic
know-how to multiply his sheep & get rich.
Sometimes others connected to him act, as his
wives do to fool him at the Chupa, & his sons do
when they use a subterfuge to obliterate Shechem, the kidnapper-rapist.

Yakov must be "shalem" with himself if he will
ever find Shalom. He is given a vote of
confidence when the angel grants him the name
"Yisrael," which contains the word
"Yashar-honest" within it. But he’ll always also
carry the name "Yakov – heel" & have to adhere to
a code of behavior that he knows is just & justified.

This, I suggest, is the same battle that we, the
children of Israel, face today. Most of the world
tries their utmost to condemn us as always the
guilty party, even when we are brutally attacked
by animalistic enemies. We are automatically at
fault, despite whatever clear evidence the Biased
Broadcasting Company is presented with. We have
to fight twice as hard to prove our case in a
topsy-turvy world where good is bad, & black is white.

We take actions no other army ever did; we help
babies while under fire in militarized
"hospitals" & we adhere to civilized rules when
the other side will not. We do this to prove to
ourselves, more than the world, that we are the
forces of truth & justice; they are the evil
party. And when we are sure of ourselves, please G-d, we’ll win the day.

And so Esav backed down, Yakov’s fear vanished &
the battle didn’t happen. The lesson: If we are
One with ourselves, we’ve already Won.