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Keeping Kosher???

Rabbi Chaim TabaskyAdar I 8, 5768
754
Question
My fiance and I are having issues regarding keeping kosher. I grew up in a relatively observant home he didn’t. In fact, his family turned away from anything remotely religious. As we are trying to figure out what our home will be like, we just can’t agree on the kosher issue. He is completely against it. I want to at least keep a kosher home. Not so much for religious reasons, but it’s important for me to keep the tradition. how do I make him see the importance of it?
Answer
It is very difficult to explain or understand the importance of any particular aspect of Jewish tradition when it is not part of a broader commitment. Most people would find it difficult to grasp why kashrut, for instance, is important if Shabbat (one of the 10 commandments) is not. I first suggest that you try to clarify in your own mind 1. why you want to maintain a connection to your tradition and 2. why keeping kosher is a crucial part of that desire. Do you want your children to be Jewish? Do you want to be recognized as part of the Jewish community. Do you believe that the Jewish people have a relationship with God that is expressed through the Torah or the commandments? Do you think keeping kosher is important because it kept the Jews together, smart, healthy, wealthy, committed, all or none of the above? There are many cogent and convincing arguement for kashrut, but they do not "work" in a vacuum. Of course there is the nostalgia, the memory of the smells and feel of home, or grandmother's home on holidays or family gatherings. I don't think that those memories are inconsequential, but will they convince your fiance? Again, ask yourself what is important to you and try to explore the ramifications. Please ask again, ask others, study, reflect.
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