On Shabbat & Yom Tov I make kiddush for an aged couple, the male suffering from Alzheimer’s, in the prescence of their filipina. I do not offer the non-Jew any of the grape juice. After 2 years she is now like a member of their family; do I continue to ignore her presence when distributing the grape juice?

There is no problem with giving her some grape juice. If it is not mevushal, the Gemara (Beitzah 21b) discusses whether the cup becomes muktzah when the grape juice becomes prohibited- even if it does, one may remove the cup from the table afterwards.