Beit Midrash
Jewish Laws and Thoughts
Middot - Character Traits
Personality Development

Pathways in Personality Development

Rabbis

Lessons

articles on Pathways in Personality Development

Credit: Shutterstock
Stress Test
for most of us, life and its petty annoyances, problems large and small and constant stress tests.
Credit: Shutterstock
Love and Devotion to God
One who loves God cannot bear the desecration of His name
Credit: Shutterstock
Conceit and Divine Service
God said to Israel: I treasure you, for even as I bestow greatness upon you, you humble yourselves before me
Credit: Shutterstock
The Spirit Always Prevails
in truth, it is the spirit that always triumphs.

series on Pathways in Personality Development

Fear of Sin - Punishment and Loftiness
Ideally, a person should distance himself from sin due to God's loftiness. How can man, God's own handiwork, even consider acting in opposition to the will of his Creator? Such fear, fear of God's loftiness, befits wise and enlightened individuals.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
Fear of Sin - Punishment and Loftiness
Ideally, a person should distance himself from sin due to God's loftiness. How can man, God's own handiwork, even consider acting in opposition to the will of his Creator? Such fear, fear of God's loftiness, befits wise and enlightened individuals.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Tuesday, 14 Elul 5767
51. Sanctity
Sanctity is the highest rung on the ladder of desired character traits: Torah leads to caution, caution to alacrity, alacrity to cleanliness, cleanliness to abstinence, abstinence to purity, purity to piety, piety to humility, to fear of sin, to sanctity.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Monday, 8 Menachem Av 5767
49. The Components of Humility
A person should hate possessing authority but not avoid positions of authority. One should accept such positions with a desire to serve the public, not to control the public. Hence the sages tell us to “love labor and hate authority.”
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Sivan 5762
48. Acquiring Humility
Acquiring humility is one of the peaks in the development of a person's personality, for it covers all aspects of an individual's behavior. If one truly wishes to acquire humility, he must train himself to speak humbly, walk humbly, and sit humbly.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
47. The Distinction of Humility
The more talent and capacity a humble person possesses, the more humble he becomes. For example, Moses, the greatest of the great, was also the humblest of the humble: "And the man Moses was more humble than any other person on the face of the earth".
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
46. Humble and Happy
It is important to realize that a humble person is not miserable and unhappy. Neither is a conceited person happy and blissful. To the contrary, it is humility that brings happiness and bliss, while pride leads a person to misery and discontent.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
45. Conceit and Divine Service
God said to Israel: I treasure you, for even as I bestow greatness upon you, you humble yourselves before me. Abraham said, "I am but earth and dust." Moses and Aaron said "What are we worth?" And King David said "I am not a man - I am but a worm."
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
44. Tales of the Sages
Reading stories about the virtuous deeds of great rabbis is a most effective way to nurture desirable character traits. Parents who wish to instill in their children a love for the Torah should give them books on the lives of the sages of Israel.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Adar 5676
43. Cautiously Stringent
Pious individuals follow the more stringent rulings and sway clear of all doubt. However, it is precisely here that a truly pious person must be on guard. He must be careful that his stringent practices do not lead him to belittle the lenient rabbis.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Adar 5676
42. Fitting Admonition
When it comes to pious additions to the commandments, practices which are likely to cause ordinary people to laugh, and thus transgress, it is certainly more proper and pious to refrain from them altogether, for these practices are not obligatory.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Adar 5676
41. Not Overly Pious
: Pious behavior can be misleading. Though a certain act may appear virtuous at first glance, its ramifications may really be very undesirable. A person must weigh his actions carefully – not to be overly pious, yet not to refrain from piety altogether.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
40. The Lofty Service of the Pious
True, the behavior of a pious person is thoroughly virtuous and refined, yet his real greatness lies in the fact that his intentions are entirely altruistic; a pious person is concerned with the welfare of the whole generation, the entire nation.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Shvat 5767
39. For the Sake of God's Honor
While performing any religious act a person must intend to bring pleasure and honor to God. He must pray for Israel's redemption and the restoration of the Holy Temple, for these matters bring pleasure to God and vest him with the most supreme honor.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Shvat 5767
38. Love and Devotion to God
One who loves God cannot bear the desecration of His name, as Solomon says (Proverbs 28:7), "The deserters of Torah will praise the wicked and the observers of Torah will rebuke them," and David says (Psalms 97:10), "Those who love God hate evil."
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
37. Piety and the Love of God
One who truly loves the Almighty knows how to accept hardships lovingly, with an understanding that everything God does is for the best, even hardships. Not only are they for his own good, they constitute a reason for loving the Almighty even more.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
35. Fear of God's Exalted Nature
Fear and love of God are the two pillars of true divine service without which it is impossible to truly serve God. The chief aspect of the fear of God is the fear of His exalted nature, and this implies fear based upon admiration and adoration.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
36. The Adornment of Religious Performance
A person should not say, “Honor is important to human beings, but the Almighty is above such things.” It is true that the Almighty has no need for honor, but we, from our standpoint, must serve Him as adamantly and impeccably as possible.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5762
34. Lovingkindness
Kindness is greater than charity in three ways: Charity is performed with one's wealth, and kindness with one's body; charity is given to the poor, kindness to the rich as well; charity is given to the living, lovingkindness to the dead as well.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
33. More on the Trait of Piety
Rav Zeira's students asked him, “How have you lived to such a ripe old age?” He responded, “I was never officious in my own household, nor did I ever walk before somebody greater than I, nor did I ever dwell upon the Torah in unclean places . . . ”
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
32. The Root of the Trait of Piety
If a pious person sees that his fellow stands to suffer some kind of loss and he has the power to prevent it, he goes out of his way to do so. It goes without saying that he himself is most careful not to do anything that will incur loss to another.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
31. The Service of the Pious
Abstinence calls for separating oneself completely from transgression, even from matters which merely resemble transgression. Piety, however, means performing anything which even resembles a commandment, even if it is not an outright commandment.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
29. Abstinence Leads to Purity
Pious abstinence leads to purity. And what is purity? It is the perfection of the heart and the thoughts so that all a person's actions are carried out with wisdom and fear of God, as King David says, “Create in me, God, a pure heart” (Psalms 51:12).
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
30. Proper Intention When Serving God
It is obvious that in order to purify the heart completely considerable spiritual refinement must be achieved. Before performing any commandment or studying Torah one must stop and consider what it is he is about to do and before Whom he is doing it.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
28. Types of Pious Abstinence
“Who is the truly valorous individual? The one who conquers his base instincts.” Pious abstinence consists of three main ingredients: abstinence in the realm of pleasures, abstinence in the realm of laws, and abstinence in the realm of conduct.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
27. Abstinence and Permissible Pleasures (Cont.)
There are rules of legal conduct and there are rules of pious conduct. A person who is fit for such is called upon to adopt pious conduct. Pious abstinence is not for everybody, but those who are able to behave in such a manner uplift everybody else.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | 5752
26. abstinence and Permissible Pleasures
A person is not permitted to abstain from those permissible pleasures which strengthen him, make him happy, and improve his state of mind. If a person does abstain from such things, he will have to account for his behavior before the Almighty.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
25. The Pursuit of Honor
Honor is one of man's greatest stumbling blocks, and it is impossible for a person to serve God and be a truly faithful servant so long as he is concerned about his own honor. Indeed, according to the sages “there is no honor but Torah” (Avot 6:3).
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
24. Jealousy
Jealousy sows destruction. But a person who has faith does not become jealous. Such a person knows that everything comes from God, that the Creator gives every person exactly what he ought to have. He understands that everything is for the best.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
23. Anger
A short-tempered person tends to justify his own actions and to blame others. A person must learn how to stop and ask forgiveness, to admit having been wrong, and to appease those who have been offended. “Be slow to anger and easy to appease.”
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
22. Pride and Humility
One should not think that pride brings a person confidence and happiness, while humility causes a sense of meekness and sorrow. This is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. It is humility that brings true happiness, while pride brings sorrow.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
21. The Dangers of Pride
Just as “cleanliness” must reside in deeds, so must it reside in traits. The work involved in changing one's traits is more difficult than that involved in changing one's deeds. This is because changing traits means doing battle with one's own nature.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
20. Distance Yourself from Falsehood
“Distance yourself from that which is false.” This implies that not only should a person avoid outright and deliberate lies, he must distance himself from any semblance of falsehood. That is, a person must be even avoid giving a wrong impression.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
19. Revenge and Grudge-bearing
Man is called upon to overcome his natural desire to take revenge. He must overlook the offense and refrain from retaliating when the opportunity to do so presents itself. Not only should one not take revenge, one should not even hold a grudge.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
18. Slander, Defamation, and Tale-bearing
Tale-bearers and slanderers cause tension and controversy. They claim to have pure intentions, and that they only wish to warn and reprimand people. However, the true nature of their remarks can be discerned in what ultimately results from them.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
17. Sound Advice
“Do not place a stumbling block before the blind.” In other words, when asked for advice, a person must give the same advice that he would want given to himself. He should consider the welfare of the one who seeks advice, and nothing else.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Kislev 5762
16. Deceit and Humiliation
Just as it is forbidden to deceive a person monetarily, selling him a product for an exorbitant price, so is it forbidden to deceive a person verbally. It is forbidden to say things which constitute deception, or which cause a person shame or grief.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Kislev 5762
1. The Quality of "Zehirut" - that Man Contemplate His Actions
Part One of "Pathways in Personality Development" When man lacks awareness of his behavior, he is like a blind man walking on the edge of the river, whose danger is no doubt great and whose demise is certainly closer than his deliverance.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | Sivan 5761
2. Introspection
Part Two of "Pathways in Personality Development" One who wishes to strengthen his personality and to develop the components of his character must begin by becoming acquainted with himself through his actions.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | tamuz 5761
3. "Zehirut"- Inhibiting and Contributing Factors
Part Three of "Pathways in Personality Development" Through the Torah one can comprehend the positive value of each good act and the severity of each bad act.
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed | tamuz 5761

52 Lessons on Pathways in Personality Development

Lessons

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Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
Rabbi S. Yossef Weitzen
Rabbi Yaakov Ariel
Rabbi Yehoshua Shapira
Rabbi Berel Wein zt"l
Rabbi Zalman Nehemiah Goldberg
Rabbi Shaul Yisraeli zt"l
Rabbi Yinon Grossberg
Rabbi Simcha Kook ZT"L
Rabbi Shabbtai Sabbato

Vayera
Vayera: Let's be Avraham, not Hagar!
Rabbi Meyer Fendel | 19 Cheshvan 5787
35 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 40
R' Eli Stefansky | 17 Cheshvan 5786
31 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 39
R' Eli Stefansky | 16 Cheshvan 5786
41 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 38
R' Eli Stefansky | 15 Cheshvan 5786
36 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 37
R' Eli Stefansky | 14 Cheshvan 5786
28 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 36
R' Eli Stefansky | 13 Cheshvan 5786
Lech Lecha
What Ungratefulness Leads To
12 Cheshvan 5787
Lech Lecha
What Ungratefulness Leads To
12 Cheshvan 5787
29 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 35
R' Eli Stefansky | 12 Cheshvan 5786
30 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 34
R' Eli Stefansky | 11 Cheshvan 5786
28 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 33
R' Eli Stefansky | 10 Cheshvan 5786
33 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 32
R' Eli Stefansky | 9 Cheshvan 5786
28 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 31
R' Eli Stefansky | 8 Cheshvan 5786
34 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 30
R' Eli Stefansky | 7 Cheshvan 5786
Various Events
FOR WHOM NOT TO VOTE
Rav Zvi Yehuda Kook stressed that Israeli politics is G-dly, so I have no problem answering this common question on a Torani blog. Also, Free-Will is a G-d-given right and obligation, to "destine one's fate" (R. Soloveichik, Kol Dodi Dofek, 67), so I obviously don't tell others how to vote. But once not a few (especially young) have already asked, a couple of personal words from experience and thoughts from chazal & Rav Kook which may be of help to others, mainly for whom NOT to vote.
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Cheshvan 17, 5787
26 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 29
R' Eli Stefansky | 6 Cheshvan 5786
Noach
Preventing Another Flood
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | 5 Cheshvan 5785
31 min
Bechorot
Daf Yomi Bechoros Daf 28
R' Eli Stefansky | 5 Cheshvan 5786

עוד Lessons

Rabbis on Pathways in Personality Development

Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed

articles on Pathways in Personality Development

Stress Test

for most of us, life and its petty annoyances, problems large and small and constant stress tests.

Love and Devotion to God

One who loves God cannot bear the desecration of His name

Conceit and Divine Service

God said to Israel: I treasure you, for even as I bestow greatness upon you, you humble yourselves before me

The Spirit Always Prevails

in truth, it is the spirit that always triumphs.

Fear of Sin - Punishment and Loftiness

Ideally, a person should distance himself from sin due to God's loftiness. How can man, God's own handiwork, even consider acting in opposition to the will of his Creator? Such fear, fear of God's loftiness, befits wise and enlightened individuals.

Fear of Sin - Punishment and Loftiness

Ideally, a person should distance himself from sin due to God's loftiness. How can man, God's own handiwork, even consider acting in opposition to the will of his Creator? Such fear, fear of God's loftiness, befits wise and enlightened individuals.

51. Sanctity

Sanctity is the highest rung on the ladder of desired character traits: Torah leads to caution, caution to alacrity, alacrity to cleanliness, cleanliness to abstinence, abstinence to purity, purity to piety, piety to humility, to fear of sin, to sanctity.

49. The Components of Humility

A person should hate possessing authority but not avoid positions of authority. One should accept such positions with a desire to serve the public, not to control the public. Hence the sages tell us to “love labor and hate authority.”

48. Acquiring Humility

Acquiring humility is one of the peaks in the development of a person's personality, for it covers all aspects of an individual's behavior. If one truly wishes to acquire humility, he must train himself to speak humbly, walk humbly, and sit humbly.

47. The Distinction of Humility

The more talent and capacity a humble person possesses, the more humble he becomes. For example, Moses, the greatest of the great, was also the humblest of the humble: "And the man Moses was more humble than any other person on the face of the earth".

46. Humble and Happy

It is important to realize that a humble person is not miserable and unhappy. Neither is a conceited person happy and blissful. To the contrary, it is humility that brings happiness and bliss, while pride leads a person to misery and discontent.

45. Conceit and Divine Service

God said to Israel: I treasure you, for even as I bestow greatness upon you, you humble yourselves before me. Abraham said, "I am but earth and dust." Moses and Aaron said "What are we worth?" And King David said "I am not a man - I am but a worm."

44. Tales of the Sages

Reading stories about the virtuous deeds of great rabbis is a most effective way to nurture desirable character traits. Parents who wish to instill in their children a love for the Torah should give them books on the lives of the sages of Israel.

43. Cautiously Stringent

Pious individuals follow the more stringent rulings and sway clear of all doubt. However, it is precisely here that a truly pious person must be on guard. He must be careful that his stringent practices do not lead him to belittle the lenient rabbis.

42. Fitting Admonition

When it comes to pious additions to the commandments, practices which are likely to cause ordinary people to laugh, and thus transgress, it is certainly more proper and pious to refrain from them altogether, for these practices are not obligatory.

41. Not Overly Pious

: Pious behavior can be misleading. Though a certain act may appear virtuous at first glance, its ramifications may really be very undesirable. A person must weigh his actions carefully – not to be overly pious, yet not to refrain from piety altogether.

40. The Lofty Service of the Pious

True, the behavior of a pious person is thoroughly virtuous and refined, yet his real greatness lies in the fact that his intentions are entirely altruistic; a pious person is concerned with the welfare of the whole generation, the entire nation.

39. For the Sake of God's Honor

While performing any religious act a person must intend to bring pleasure and honor to God. He must pray for Israel's redemption and the restoration of the Holy Temple, for these matters bring pleasure to God and vest him with the most supreme honor.

38. Love and Devotion to God

One who loves God cannot bear the desecration of His name, as Solomon says (Proverbs 28:7), "The deserters of Torah will praise the wicked and the observers of Torah will rebuke them," and David says (Psalms 97:10), "Those who love God hate evil."

37. Piety and the Love of God

One who truly loves the Almighty knows how to accept hardships lovingly, with an understanding that everything God does is for the best, even hardships. Not only are they for his own good, they constitute a reason for loving the Almighty even more.

35. Fear of God's Exalted Nature

Fear and love of God are the two pillars of true divine service without which it is impossible to truly serve God. The chief aspect of the fear of God is the fear of His exalted nature, and this implies fear based upon admiration and adoration.

36. The Adornment of Religious Performance

A person should not say, “Honor is important to human beings, but the Almighty is above such things.” It is true that the Almighty has no need for honor, but we, from our standpoint, must serve Him as adamantly and impeccably as possible.

34. Lovingkindness

Kindness is greater than charity in three ways: Charity is performed with one's wealth, and kindness with one's body; charity is given to the poor, kindness to the rich as well; charity is given to the living, lovingkindness to the dead as well.

33. More on the Trait of Piety

Rav Zeira's students asked him, “How have you lived to such a ripe old age?” He responded, “I was never officious in my own household, nor did I ever walk before somebody greater than I, nor did I ever dwell upon the Torah in unclean places . . . ”

32. The Root of the Trait of Piety

If a pious person sees that his fellow stands to suffer some kind of loss and he has the power to prevent it, he goes out of his way to do so. It goes without saying that he himself is most careful not to do anything that will incur loss to another.

31. The Service of the Pious

Abstinence calls for separating oneself completely from transgression, even from matters which merely resemble transgression. Piety, however, means performing anything which even resembles a commandment, even if it is not an outright commandment.

29. Abstinence Leads to Purity

Pious abstinence leads to purity. And what is purity? It is the perfection of the heart and the thoughts so that all a person's actions are carried out with wisdom and fear of God, as King David says, “Create in me, God, a pure heart” (Psalms 51:12).

30. Proper Intention When Serving God

It is obvious that in order to purify the heart completely considerable spiritual refinement must be achieved. Before performing any commandment or studying Torah one must stop and consider what it is he is about to do and before Whom he is doing it.

28. Types of Pious Abstinence

“Who is the truly valorous individual? The one who conquers his base instincts.” Pious abstinence consists of three main ingredients: abstinence in the realm of pleasures, abstinence in the realm of laws, and abstinence in the realm of conduct.

27. Abstinence and Permissible Pleasures (Cont.)

There are rules of legal conduct and there are rules of pious conduct. A person who is fit for such is called upon to adopt pious conduct. Pious abstinence is not for everybody, but those who are able to behave in such a manner uplift everybody else.

26. abstinence and Permissible Pleasures

A person is not permitted to abstain from those permissible pleasures which strengthen him, make him happy, and improve his state of mind. If a person does abstain from such things, he will have to account for his behavior before the Almighty.

25. The Pursuit of Honor

Honor is one of man's greatest stumbling blocks, and it is impossible for a person to serve God and be a truly faithful servant so long as he is concerned about his own honor. Indeed, according to the sages “there is no honor but Torah” (Avot 6:3).

24. Jealousy

Jealousy sows destruction. But a person who has faith does not become jealous. Such a person knows that everything comes from God, that the Creator gives every person exactly what he ought to have. He understands that everything is for the best.

23. Anger

A short-tempered person tends to justify his own actions and to blame others. A person must learn how to stop and ask forgiveness, to admit having been wrong, and to appease those who have been offended. “Be slow to anger and easy to appease.”

22. Pride and Humility

One should not think that pride brings a person confidence and happiness, while humility causes a sense of meekness and sorrow. This is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. It is humility that brings true happiness, while pride brings sorrow.

21. The Dangers of Pride

Just as “cleanliness” must reside in deeds, so must it reside in traits. The work involved in changing one's traits is more difficult than that involved in changing one's deeds. This is because changing traits means doing battle with one's own nature.

20. Distance Yourself from Falsehood

“Distance yourself from that which is false.” This implies that not only should a person avoid outright and deliberate lies, he must distance himself from any semblance of falsehood. That is, a person must be even avoid giving a wrong impression.

19. Revenge and Grudge-bearing

Man is called upon to overcome his natural desire to take revenge. He must overlook the offense and refrain from retaliating when the opportunity to do so presents itself. Not only should one not take revenge, one should not even hold a grudge.

18. Slander, Defamation, and Tale-bearing

Tale-bearers and slanderers cause tension and controversy. They claim to have pure intentions, and that they only wish to warn and reprimand people. However, the true nature of their remarks can be discerned in what ultimately results from them.

17. Sound Advice