YeshivaThe torah world Gateway
Beit Midrash
- Sections
- Chemdat Yamim
- Bemare Habazak - Rabbis Questions
- Shabbat and Holidays
- Laws of Shabbat
- Preparations for Shabbat, Entrance and Exit
Answer: The short answer is that you should be doing the hadlakat neirot and not your pre-bat mitzva daughter when your wife is away (Shemirat Shabbat K’hilchata 43:7). Now we will broaden our view of the topic.
Does a daughter have precedence over her father due to gender? The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 263:3) explains a wife’s advantage over her husband pragmatically – she is usually at home more, taking care of household chores, and so it is appropriate that she has the higher level of obligation and rights. The Tur (OC 263) cites a midrash that it was a woman (Chava) who "extinguished the light of the world" by causing Adam to sin, and therefore it is women’s job to add special light to the world (see also Mishna Berura 263:11). Regarding the first matter, one can argue either way regarding a daughter vs. father, and it might depend on the household. The second matter probably applies to all females. The book Radiance of Shabbat (p. 7) cites Rav Moshe Feinstein as saying that a father has precedence over an above bat mitzva daughter. I would surmise that the reason is that a husband has greater responsibility for the proper Jewish running of his home than his daughter has. The book goes on that between bar/bat mitzva siblings, a girl has precedence.
The bigger problem with your daughter lighting is the principle that one who is not obligated in a mitzva cannot perform it for one who is obligated (Rosh Hashana 29a). However, it is actually not so simple. First, if the mitzva is not to light the candles but to have the candles lit, then it might not make a difference who lights them. Regarding the mitzva of Chanuka candles, we conclude (Shabbat 23a) that since the beracha is "to light," then it is the act of lighting that is the mitzva and that the lighting can therefore not be done by someone who lacks mature thought, including a child. The same is likely true for the lighting of Shabbat candles. In the past (Chayei Sarah 5772) we discussed this issue in regard to the question of whether one just has to light with the expectation to benefit from the candles or whether one needs to actually benefit. We reasoned, based on sources, that it is likely that there is a mixture of the two elements – lighting and having a proper Shabbat atmosphere – but that the nature of the mitzva is to light. We mentioned the machloket between the Magen Avraham (263:11) and R. Akiva Eiger (ad loc.) whether when it is too late for a Jew to light the Shabbat candles and she gets a non-Jew to light, a member of the Jewish household makes a beracha (see Shemirat Shabbat K’hilchata 43:(48)). In the final analysis, it is apparent that one would not want someone who is not obligated in the mitzva to light.
Is your daughter obligated? If she is old enough for you to take the question seriously, we assume she is higiah l’chinuch, reached the age at which she can be trained. Indeed, if only such children are available to light, they are obligated Rabbinically to light with a beracha like any other mitzva of the day (and a girl should have precedence over a boy). True, one who is obligated Rabbinically cannot perform a mitzva on behalf of one who is obligated from the Torah (Berachot 20b), but the whole mitzva of lighting is only Rabbinic, so how are you more obligated than your daughter? There is actually a machloket (Shulchan Aruch, OC 675:3) regarding a child of chinuch age lighting Chanuka candles for an adult, as many hold that one who is obligated only Rabbinically for two reasons (the nature of the mitzva; the general nature of the person’s obligations) can do a mitzva on behalf of someone who has only one reason that it is only Rabbinic (e.g., an adult lighting Chanuka candles). We follow the strict opinion (ibid. 689:2; Mishna Berura 675:13).
(When making early Shabbat, be sure not to light before plag hamincha.)
Bemare Habazak - Rabbis Questions (657)
Rabbi Daniel Mann
381 - Kri’at Shema in a Whisper
382 - Who Lights Shabbat Candles – Father or Daughter?
383 - Electronic Communication before Davening
Load More
P'ninat Mishpat Complaints about Contractor’s Work – part II
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
P'ninat Mishpat P'ninat Mishpat: Realtor’s Fee on Large Commercial Building – part I
(based on ruling 85031 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
Chemdat Yamim Moreshet Shaul: The Goal of an Agricultural Yeshiva – part I
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the laying of the cornerstone of the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh)
Rabbis in Midrash
Lessons
fast navigation
Shoftim TESHUVA IN COURT OF LAW?
Parshat Shoftim-Chodesh Elul
Why does parshat Shoftim always come out during Elul? This innovative and central explanation is an eye-opener regarding many aspects of Judaism.
The Month of Elul TESHUVA IS THE ANSWER
The month of Elul serves as a vital time for self-reflection and personal accountability to prepare for true repentance.
P'ninat Mishpat P'ninat Mishpat: Realtor’s Fee on Large Commercial Building – part I
(based on ruling 85031 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
(based on ruling 85031 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
P'ninat Mishpat Complaints about Contractor’s Work – part II
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
Chemdat Yamim Moreshet Shaul: The Goal of an Agricultural Yeshiva – part I
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the laying of the cornerstone of the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh)
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the laying of the cornerstone of the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh)
Chemdat Yamim The Goal of an Agricultural Yeshiva – part II
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the cornerstone laying for the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh – 1938)
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 263 (address at the cornerstone laying for the Yeshiva Chakla’it in Kfar Haroeh – 1938)
Re'e NEVER EXTREME EXCEPT ISRAEL
Parshat Re'eh
Judaism is against extremism, so how can we understand the seemingly extreme statements found in our sages in favor of living in the Land of Israel and against living in Chutz laAretz? The article deals with the seeming contradiction between the strength of Free-Will and the strength of being influenced by our surroundings.
Ekev DANCE FOR ISRAEL- FOR YOUR BENEFIT
Parshat Eikev
Description: The 7 Haftarot we read after Tisha B'Av ("Shiva D'Nichemta") surely get us excited that they're coming TRUE, and awaken us to yearn, dance & join the return to Zion! The short article also deals with the problems and solutions facing the American Jewish community as discussed at a recent panel, as well as the question why Jews come from America to Israel to help when we face problems, but Israelis don't come to aid Jews in America when they face anti-Semitism.
P'ninat Mishpat P'ninat Mishpat: Complaints about Contractor’s Work – part II
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
(based on ruling 83037.1 of the Eretz Hemdah-Gazit Rabbinical Courts)
Chemdat Yamim Moreshet Shaul: Twin Foundations
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 690
Based on Siach Shaul, Pirkei Machshava V’Hadracha p. 690
