Genetics, surroundings, experience all contribute to our personality, as well as our spouse's and children's. Nevertheless it all is decided by our destining our fate through decisions.
Why Must I be Religious to be a Moral Person? - Part I
Rav Kook, Musar Hakodesh
Rav Kook supports secular morality, in that the conscience and logic stem from the same Creator that wrote the Torah. Nevertheless, he stresses the clear advantages of Mussar HaKodesh, or morality based on religion, for several important reasons.