- Jewish Laws and Thoughts
- Honoring the Parents
Must I Honor My Parents if They Tell Me Not to Live In Judea/Samaria?
What if one's parents tell him not to live in Judea/Samaria? Is living there considered an extra important mitzvah, and therefore he should ignore his parents, or is it only a "beautification" of the existing mitzvah of living in the Land of Israel?
Rabbi Eliezer Melamed
Nissan 7 5782
Translated by Hillel Fendel
Question: I know that one may not listen to his parents if they tell him not to fulfill another Torah commandment. But what happens if they simply do not want him to fulfill the commandment in its most "honored" manner? For instance, they tell him not to buy a beautiful etrog, but a cheaper one – must he fulfill the mitzvah of honoring his parents, or may/should he buy the nicer etrog?
And in this connection, what if one's parents tell him not to live in Judea/Samaria? Is living there considered an extra important mitzvah, and therefore he should ignore his parents, or is it only a "beautification" of the existing mitzvah of living in the Land of Israel?
Answer: There are differing opinions on the value of "beautification" of a mitzvah when it conflicts with one's parents' wishes. The Beit Lechem Yehuda (Yoreh Deah 240,15), for instance, says that one should not engage in over-fasting against his father's wishes. But I believe this is simply a recommendation, and not a Halakhic requirement; one who wishes to glorify a mitzvah may do so even if this is in opposition to his parents' desires.
Regarding the mitzvah of living in the Land of Israel, my humble opinion is that residence in Judea and Samaria is not merely a "beautification," but is rather the essence of the mitzvah. This is because it actually helps the Land remain in our hands and not in the hands of other nations [in accordance with one of the main goals of the mitzvah].
In addition, the obligation to honor one's parents does not obligate him to change his life plans. For instance, if he wants to be a musician or a farmer, and they demand that he study physics, he need not obey them. Similarly, if he wants to serve in the IDF in a combat position, he need not follow his parents' contrary desires.
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Question: I know that one may not listen to his parents if they tell him not to fulfill another Torah commandment. But what happens if they simply do not want him to fulfill the commandment in its most "honored" manner? For instance, they tell him not to buy a beautiful etrog, but a cheaper one – must he fulfill the mitzvah of honoring his parents, or may/should he buy the nicer etrog?
And in this connection, what if one's parents tell him not to live in Judea/Samaria? Is living there considered an extra important mitzvah, and therefore he should ignore his parents, or is it only a "beautification" of the existing mitzvah of living in the Land of Israel?
Answer: There are differing opinions on the value of "beautification" of a mitzvah when it conflicts with one's parents' wishes. The Beit Lechem Yehuda (Yoreh Deah 240,15), for instance, says that one should not engage in over-fasting against his father's wishes. But I believe this is simply a recommendation, and not a Halakhic requirement; one who wishes to glorify a mitzvah may do so even if this is in opposition to his parents' desires.
Regarding the mitzvah of living in the Land of Israel, my humble opinion is that residence in Judea and Samaria is not merely a "beautification," but is rather the essence of the mitzvah. This is because it actually helps the Land remain in our hands and not in the hands of other nations [in accordance with one of the main goals of the mitzvah].
In addition, the obligation to honor one's parents does not obligate him to change his life plans. For instance, if he wants to be a musician or a farmer, and they demand that he study physics, he need not obey them. Similarly, if he wants to serve in the IDF in a combat position, he need not follow his parents' contrary desires.
In order to get articles like this delivered straight to your inbox every week, subscribe to the Israel National Torah newsletter here.
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