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Beit Midrash
- Family and Society
- Marriage and Relationships
- The Marital Relationship
Years ago, a young couple in their very early 30's came to us for consultation. Married for some 10 years, they had not been blessed with offspring, to their great sorrow. They had begun a process of fertility treatments in accordance with their specific issue, but these weren't working, and so the couple came to us. The couple appeared to be Torah-observant, but not strongly so. We discussed the problem, including the fact that they had undergone a traumatic experience years earlier when a deranged man forced his way into their home in the middle of the night and attacked them; the recovery process had been long and difficult.
Our conversation took longer than expected, and – amazingly fortuitously, as it turned out – it was time for the afternoon Mincha prayer. I suggested that we take a prayer break; the wife remained in the waiting room while her husband was happy to join me. On our way back from the synagogue, he turned to me and asked to tell me something – on condition that I not breathe a word of it to his wife. Emotionally and painfully, he told me that his wife had not immersed in a mikveh since their wedding, despite all his pleadings. He explained that she simply could not bear the thought of immersing before the female mikveh attendant (whose job it is to ensure that the immersion is kosher), or before anyone else. He felt tortured, and asked me for counsel.
I told him that first of all, he must take upon himself not to cohabitate with his wife until the matter is resolved – for the sin of doing so is a grave one – and that then the issue will come under Divine providence. I told him that the late Chief Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu had ruled that if there is no choice, no attendant need be there for immersion, as long as certain procedures were followed. I suggested that he explain this to his wife pleasantly, and that he arrange to travel with her to the mikveh and arrange for the attendant to remain outside while she immerses on her own. We then returned to our three-way meeting, discussed other procedural matters, and they set out on their way home.
Soon after, the husband informed me that his wife had agreed to the new arrangement – and a few months after that, he called to say that she was pregnant! Now, years later, they have a son and a daughter, healthy and whole!
[Note: The ruling of Rabbi Eliyahu has become more widespread in recent years, and although for various reasons it is important that a female attendant help and monitor an immersing woman, in many cases it is permitted for a woman to immerse alone. A competent Orthodox rabbi should be consulted in cases of doubt or need.]
The following story was told by one of the rabbis of Yeshiva.org.il:
A man approached me and said he wanted to start becoming Torah-observant – but that his wife was not interested in going to the mikveh as required. He said that she was very particular about cleanliness, and that the idea of going to a public mikveh, with its reputation for lack of cleanliness, actually repulsed her. No matter how many rabbis spoke to them and explained to them that there was no dispensation for physical contact between husband and wife without mikveh, she would not change her mind. The husband actually slept on the floor for a number of weeks, to ensure that he would not sin. Finally, G-d apparently saw his self-sacrifice and heard his prayers. The man heard one day that precisely opposite his house, a new, modern mikveh was being built. When the building was completed, the attendant contacted the woman and asked if she would like to come see it. The woman agreed, and when she saw its luxurious, spa-like conditions – it turned out to be one of the absolutely most lavish and well-appointed mikvehs in all of Israel! – and how clean and new it was, she agreed from then on to immerse there whenever necessary. Just another story of self-sacrifice for the mitzvah of mikveh with a happy ending!
Rabbis in Midrash
Lessons
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Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 9 - "Seeing is Believing" (parag. 21-30)
These paragraphs elaborate on the theme that seeing and knowing is better than any attempt to prove logically, and begins explaining the difference between Israel and gentiles.
Ein Aya Various Universal Stages of the Geula Process
Rav Kook examines the various stages of redemption, explaining how (in addition to the obvious oft-mentioned stages of ingathering the exiles, reviving the Hebrew language, army, state etc.) the messianic dream of world prosperity, the State of Israel and world unity can and are realistically and logically gradually coming true.
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 8- "Answering Questions on the Kuzari's Proof from Mass Revelation
How do we know that the "claim" of mass revelation to 2,000,000 witnesses at Mt. Sinai is really true? This important class answers all of the questions skeptics ask about this claim of the Kuzari.
Ein Aya Armies Still Necessary for Balance & the War Against Wars
Rav Kook explains why the world was originally divided into the various seemingly contradicting ideologies and cultures, in order to develop each one respectively. Swords or armies symbolize how each respective ideology defends themselves, as well as deters their opposing ideologies and cultures. On the other hand, the messianic era will be one of peace, and Rav Kook explains the transition to that stage, which mankind is already undergoing.
The Land of Israel LGBT'S IN ISRAEL
The question was asked, how can one make Aliyah with the LGBT parades?
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 7 - Five Accumulative Proofs of G-d
As a preparation for the Kuzari's classic proof of G-d from the mass-revelation at Sinai, we start here with 5 other directions to strengthen our belief which also contribute to what the Kuzari will present as well.
Ein Aya Muscle & Meaning: The Dual Nature of Gevurah (Physical Strength)
Is physical strength and fitness a necessity or an ideal? Although it if often totally overlooked among topics of Judaism, Rav Kook writes that it clearly is also a necessity to deter the many enemies of Israel, but even in Y'mot HaMashiach, in the Messianic era, to a certain extent, it's ideal continues even after our enemies will have been finished off.
