Beit Midrash

  • Torah Portion and Tanach
  • Naso
To dedicate this lesson

For What May I Pray?


Rabbi Yirmiyohu Kaganoff

Sivan 8 5778
This week’s reading includes the mitzvah that we usually call duchening, which is a type of prayer that the Torah mandated. This makes it appropriate to discuss the rarely-discussed subtopic: When is a prayer inappropriate?

Question #1:
"Rabbi, this is a very unfortunate and painful question. My grandfather is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and no longer recognizes us. Should we continue to pray that he recover?"

Question #2:
I received this question as an e-mail:
"Dear Rav: I have an extended family member who is, unfortunately, involved in spreading non-Torah ideas. Recently, he was diagnosed with cancer. May I pray for his recovery, knowing that, if he recovers, he will probably continue to influence people away from Torah?"

Question #3:
"I am a baal teshuvah. May I pray that my non-observant family members find their way to Torah?"

All three questions revolve around the same halachic issue: The Mishnah (Brachos 54a) and the Gemara (Brachos 60a) rule that one may not recite a prayer in vain. The Mishnah rules that because of this reason, one may not pray for something that has already happened. The Mishnah's example is that someone who hears of a tragedy occurring in a place where he has family should not pray that this tragedy did not affect his family.
What else is included under the heading of a prayer in vain? Does praying for someone to recover from a medical condition that appears to be non-reversible qualify as praying in vain? Am I permitted to pray that something miraculous occur? Analyzing the issues involved not only provides a clear halachic perspective on our daily mitzvah to pray to Hashem, but also clarifies some important hashkafah issues.

The Sefer Chassidim
The earliest source that I know of that analyzes these questions is the Sefer Chassidim (#794):
"A person may not pray for something that is impossible under normal circumstances, for, although the Holy One, Blessed is He, could make it happen, one is not permitted to request something that is beyond the natural order of the world. It is therefore forbidden to pray that Hashem perform a miracle that changes the way the world normally functions."
We see that we are not permitted to pray that Hashem perform miracles in order to influence and intervene in human matters. (We should note that some authorities contend that a person who has reached an elevated level of faith is permitted to pray for a miracle to occur, but this subject is beyond the scope of this article.) It would seem to me that that this quote from the Sefer Chassidim will answer our first question. Praying for the recovery of someone suffering from Alzheimer's to the extent described above would qualify according to the Sefer Chassidim as a tefillas shav. Similarly, I have been told by highly reliable sources that the Chafetz Chayim did not pray for a refuah sheleimah for those smitten by cancer, since, in his day, it was incurable. (Today, when faced with an "incurable" cancer, one may pray that the researchers discover a cure quickly.) I know of great tzaddikim who, when asked to pray for people with incurable ailments, pray that Hashem treat the patient with mercy. One may also pray that the person's condition not get worse (see Tosafos, Bechoros 38b s.v. Vesimaneich).
We will now examine a different case to see if it is considered a prayer in vain.
Chizkiyahu's prayer
Chizkiyahu, who was one of the most righteous and scholarly kings of all time, was severely ill when Yeshayahu the Prophet visited him. Yeshayahu had been commanded by Hashem to notify Chizkiyahu that he (Chizkiyahu) should inform his household of his final wishes, and that, furthermore, he would also not merit Olam Haba. When Chizkiyahu asked why he was being punished so severely, Yeshayahu answered him, "Because you did not marry."
To this, Chizkiyahu responded that he had not married because he knew through ruach hakodesh that he would have a son who would be very evil and cause many others to sin. His decision to remain single was completely for the sake of heaven — it was a tremendous personal sacrifice, made expressly to decrease the number of evildoers in the world. Notwithstanding his intention to increase Hashem's honor, Yeshayahu told Chizkiyahu that he had no right to overrule the Torah's commandment (Nefesh HaChayim 1:22). Yeshayahu explained that it is not our place to get involved in the secret ways that Hashem runs His world – our job is merely to obey and fulfill His commandments, and let Hashem do what He sees fit.
At this point, Chizkiyahu asked to marry Yeshayahu's daughter, hoping that their combined merits might overturn the Divine decree that Chizkiyahu's child would be evil. To this request, Yeshayahu responded: "It is too late. There is already a Divine decree that you will die."
Chizkiyahu retorted: "Close up your prophecy and be gone! I have a mesorah from my grandfather, David HaMelech, that even if a sharp sword rests upon your neck, it is still not too late to pray" (Brachos 10a).
At this point, Chizkiyahu turned to the wall in prayer, and his prayers were heard. He was granted fifteen more years of life (Melachim II 20:1-6; Yeshayah 38:4).

Analysis of the dispute
Chizkiyahu held that the prophecy did not preclude the possibility that his prayer might be successful. Indeed, his prayer was answered. Thus, we can conclude that although one may not pray for something that is clearly miraculous, one may pray for something that defies a prophecy, particularly if the prophecy is about a punishment, and the person may do teshuvah for the sin for which he was to be punished (Rambam, Hilchos Yesodei HaTorah 10:4).

Praying for sinners
At this point, I would like to address the second of our opening questions: May I pray for the recovery of someone who influences people away from Torah? Although this may not seem like something that qualifies as a tefillas shav, we will soon see that, indeed, it might be.
To answer this question, I will again turn to a ruling of the Sefer Chassidim (#688):
"One should not pray for the recovery of someone who caused people to sin, and is now ill. The same approach should be followed regarding someone who prevents the community from performing mitzvos. In addition, one should not pray that someone who caused many others to sin do teshuvah, if some of those people [those that he caused to sin] have already died, because the prayer will not help."
The last part of this ruling seems a bit unusual. Why is the halacha whether I may pray for someone dependent upon whether some of the people that he influenced have already died?
The commentaries explain that this ruling of the Sefer Chassidim is based on the following Gemara:
Kol hamachati es harabim, ein maspikin beyado laasos teshuvah, whoever causes the public to sin is not given any opportunity to do teshuvah (Yoma 87a).
The Gemara explains that it is intolerable that the one who caused others to sin reaches Gan Eden while those whom he led into transgression languish in Gehennom. To avoid this happening, Hashem will not assist someone to do teshuvah, if the person caused the public to transgress.
The Sefer Chassidim rules that as long as all the misguided followers live, Hashem will assist their leader to do teshuvah, since his followers might join him on the proper path. Once some of his followers have died and have arrived in Gehennom, Hashem will not assist him to do teshuvah. It is therefore inappropriate at this point to pray that he find his way to Torah, since praying is asking Hashem to help, and Hashem will not help. However, the Sefer Chassidim adds: "One may pray that he stop causing others to sin."

Only if he qualifies as an intentional sinner
Although the Sefer Chassidim prohibits praying that this evil leader do teshuvah, he attaches an important factor to this decision: "If he is influencing them because he is a shogeig [someone who violates the Torah because of ignorance, error or negligence – that is, he does not realize how grievous a sin he is committing], then one may pray that he recover from his illness." The example that the Sefer Chassidim chooses for someone who is deemed to be shogeig is someone who has no tzadik, no righteous individual, near him to influence him and guide him as to how to return to Torah. "However, if he was reproved appropriately by a tzadik and ignored the reproof, he is considered to be someone who violates halacha intentionally."
Based on the Sefer Chassidim, we can answer the second question raised above: I have an extended family member, who is, unfortunately, involved in spreading non-Torah ideas. Recently, he was diagnosed with cancer. May I pray for his recovery, knowing that, if he recovers, he will probably continue to influence people away from Torah?
The answer is that if the family member qualifies as a shogeig, I can pray that he recover. If he qualifies as a meizid, one who is sinning intentionally, not only should I not pray that he recover, but, if some of those whom he influenced have died, I may not pray that he do teshuvah, according to the Sefer Chassidim, although this may be permitted according to others. In all instances, I can pray that he stop influencing people in a harmful way.

Praying that my friend do teshuvah
Rav Yonah Landsofer, a great halachic authority and kabbalist of early seventeenth century Prague, was asked the following question: A Jewish resident of Izmir, Turkey, had left the Jewish community and converted to a different religion, taking with him his young son. Could they pray that this apostate do teshuvah and return to Judaism? In his volume of responsa called Shu"t Me'il Tzedakah (#7), Rav Landsofer addresses this issue, first asking whether such a prayer qualifies as a tefillah in vain.

All is from Heaven, except…
The Me'il Tzedakah notes that Hashem declared that everything is under His control except for yiras shamayim, fear of Heaven, which He deliberately chose not to control, so that people could earn reward – otherwise, there would be no reward and punishment in the world. To quote the Gemara:
"It is declared before each child is born whether it will be strong or weak, wise or foolish, wealthy or poor. But, it is not declared whether it will be evil or righteous, because everything is in Hashem's hands except for an individual's fear of heaven (Niddah 16b)."
Thus, the possibility exists that praying that a sinner repent qualifies as a prayer in vain, since Hashem already decided that He would not interfere in man's decisions.
Thus, we need to decide whether requesting that Hashem influence someone to do teshuvah means asking Hashem to do something that He has chosen not to do, which is the definition of a prayer in vain.

Removing one's Free Choice
Notwithstanding the Gemara's statement that it is not predetermined what direction in life a person will choose, the Me'il Tzedakah notes that Hashem may, and indeed does, take away free choice from people when He feels it is necessary. Among the several proofs he rallies to this conclusion is the verse in Mishlei (21:1), "The heart of a king is in the hands of Hashem," which means that a king loses some of his free choice, although he does not realize it. Thus, praying that Hashem influence someone to do teshuvah – even to pray that Hashem take away the person's free choice in the process – does not qualify as a prayer in vain,. Certainly, praying that he be exposed to positive influences that would encourage his involvement and return to Judaism does not constitute a tefillas shav. However, this might involve a different halachic issue:

A second reason
Based on this background, the Me'il Tzedakah asks whether praying that someone do teshuvah may not be correct for a different reason. Hashem has chosen to allow man to decide whether he should do good or evil, and my praying for someone to do teshuvah may be interfering with Hashem's realm. He questions whether a person should ask Hashem for matters that do not affect him personally, since this may be getting involved in "the secrets of Hashem." In other words, one should pray for things that affect one's self, but whether someone else merits honoring Hashem is Hashem's domain, and not a place for prayer.
For sure, a person should pray that Hashem help him keep the mitzvos -- we have many such prayers. But, may one pray that someone else do teshuvah?

Rabbi Meir and Beruria
The Me'il Tzedakah notes that this discussion will depend on how we understand the famous dispute between Rabbi Meir and his wife, Beruria.
Some troublemakers in Rabbi Meir's neighborhood were causing him great distress, and Rabbi Meir wanted to pray that they die. His wife, Beruria, said to him: "Why do you feel (that you have a halachic right) to do this? Because the verse (Tehillim 104:35) says 'that chata'im should cease from the world?’ However (noted Beruria), the verse does not say chote'im, which clearly means sinners, but says chata'im, which can be interpreted to mean that which causes sin (that is, their yetzer hora). Furthermore (proceeded Beruria with her lesson), the continuing part of the verse reads, uresha'im od einam, and the evildoers no longer exist -- if the sinners are destroyed, then there is no need for the verse to repeat itself and say that there are no evildoers. Instead, you should pray that they do teshuvah. Indeed, Rabbi Meir prayed for them to do teshuvah, and they repented" (Brachos 10a).
The Me'il Tzedakah contends that the troublemakers disturbing Rabbi Meir did so because they did not know Torah; had they known Torah, they would have behaved differently. In other words, they were not inherently evil, but misinformed. It was, therefore, appropriate to pray that they discover the proper approach to Yiddishkeit, which would help them keep mitzvos. This is not considered a prayer in vain, since the people were inherently sincere, and would have sought to be yirei shamayim, had they known what it was.
The Me'il Tzedakah also offers another possibility to explain why Rabbi Meir could pray that his adversaries do teshuvah, notwithstanding the fact that this takes away their free choice. The reason is because he was praying to help himself – after all, he was suffering from them, and therefore, he was entitled to pray that they do teshuvah to relieve his own suffering. This is not considered mixing into Hashem's affairs, but praying for something that affects me.

Praying for the apostate
Based on this second approach, the Me'il Tzedakah returns to his original question: may one pray that someone who has chosen to live an evil life return to the Jewish fold? The Me'il Tzedakah presents two reasons why one may.
1. A parent may daven for his child to do teshuvah, because the parent suffers greatly; therefore, one is davening to Hashem, asking Him to alleviate one's suffering, which is permitted. Therefore, this apostate's parents could pray for his return.
2. In the case at hand, the apostate had taken his son with him -- a young child who would be raised bereft of contact with the Jewish community. One who feels anguish for the Shechinah because this young child will be raised outside of Yiddishkeit, could pray for the child's return. And if the most obvious way to return this child to Yiddishkeit would be through his father's return, then one may pray that Hashem bring the father back to Yiddishkeit. This is not a prayer in vain, since sometimes Hashem will force someone to do teshuvah -- as explained above.

The eye of a needle
The Me'il Tzedakah then quotes a prayer that he found, which he says was written with tremendous accuracy: The prayer is for a chazzan to say privately prior to leading services on a fast day, similar to the prayers that our chazzanim recite prior to musaf on Yomim Nora'im. In these prayers, the chazzan notes that even the most stubborn evildoers occasionally feel remorse or doubt about what they are doing. The chazzan then asks Hashem to accept this sense of remorse as if these people are attempting the first steps toward teshuvah. If they are attempting to do teshuvah, then they will merit tremendous Divine assistance to repent, as we are aware from the following, frequently-quoted Midrash.
"Hashem said to Israel: 'My sons, merely open for me an opening to do teshuvah as large as the eye of a needle, and I will expand for you openings wide enough that wagons can drive through'" (Shir Hashirim Rabba 5:2).
The Me'il Tzedakah rallies proof that this is an acceptable prayer from the following Midrash:
"A person who sees a place where an idol was destroyed should recite the brocha: 'She'akar avodas kochavim mei'artzeinu.' He should then add: 'May it be Your will, Hashem Elokeinu, that you uproot it (idolatry) from all places and return the hearts of those who worship it to serve you with a full heart.'"
The Midrash then asks: "Is this not considered praying on behalf of evildoers?" Rabbi Yochanan answered, "There is hope for the greatest sinners."
The Me'il Tzedakah explains this Midrash to mean that even the greatest sinners may be returned to serve Hashem, and that it is always appropriate to pray that someone find his way back to Hashem. Even the apostate who left the Jewish community of Izmir occasionally doubts the correctness of his new path, and one can pray that Hashem view this as a desire to do teshuvah and open the gates for him, helping him in his return.

In conclusion
In conclusion, we see that both the Sefer Chassidim and the Me'il Tzedakah conclude that, under most circumstances, someone who feels grief over the evildoing of certain individuals may pray that Hashem do whatever is necessary to bring them to teshuvah.

This Shiur is published also at Rabbi Kaganof's site

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