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קטגוריה משנית
To dedicate this lesson
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Question: I have heard that a chatan during the week of sheva berachot does not need to daven with a minyan. Is there anything to that, and what would the reason be?
Answer: There is something to what you have heard, but it has less to do with a minyan than with going to shul. Let us discuss the issues and put things in perspective.
The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 131:1) says that Tachanun is not recited in a chatan’s house because the simcha of a chatan and the somberness of Tachanun do not go together well. The Rama (ad loc.) says that this is even when the chatan comes to shul, but only on the wedding day. The Taz (ad loc. 10) says that it applies all seven days after the wedding and comments that for this reason, a chatan should not come to shul during this time so as not to deprive people of Tachanun. The Mishna Berura (131:26) cites the Taz without dissent.
Contemporary poskim point out that some disagree with this restriction/recommendation (see Nitei Gavriel, Nisuin 63:4; Dirshu 131:(41)). Let us briefly analyze. While the tzibbur rarely minds missing Tachanun, it is an important prayer (see Mishna Berura 131:1). Still, should we exclude such an honored person (see below) who has done nothing wrong? Rav S.Z. Auerbach (cited in Tefilla K’hilchata 15:(41)) posits that according to the Rama, that it is only on the wedding day, people are correctly happy to share his simcha at the price of Tachanun, but for the Taz, who applies the exemption for a week, it is more of a problem to take away Tachanun that much (we hope for many weddings during the year). In answering why a mohel is not told not to come to shul, he also adds that due to the stature of a chatan and his (one-time, iy"H) preoccupation with his new wife and status, the importance of his tefilla b’tzibbur is diminished. This explains why we may prefer him to not come to shul. I would put it this way. Consistently davening in shul helps the individual and Klal Yisrael. A chatan personally has a halachically recognized competing reason to stay home (like the halacha to not go to work that week). The fact that his presence deprives the community of Tachanun is enough to tip the scale in favor of davening at home in the presence of his kalla.
Another reason not to go to shul is the concept that a chatan (and kalla) should not go on the streets by himself (Rama, Even Haezer 64:1). Some explain the practice based on concern for his physical and/or spiritual welfare (based on Berachot 54b). Others (Perisha, Even Haezer 64:1*) connect it to his stature resembling a king, who does not go unaccompanied (Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer 16). There are questions as to whether this applies in safe places/times (daytime). In any case, an escort of one including the new spouse suffices (see Nitei Gavriel, Nisuim 56:(10)), so this impediment is solvable.




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Lessons
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    Beha'alotcha

    The Consolation of Lighting the Menora - Rav Kook at the Third Shabbat Meal

    15 Sivan 5784
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    Beha'alotcha

    Why Was Miriam Punished?

    Rabbi Yosef Tzvi Rimon | 5777
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    Prayer

    ?How we should dress for Prayer

    Chapter five-part two

    Chapter five-part two

    Rabbi Eliezer Melamed | 5775
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    Prayer

    Who Can Be Counted in a Minyan?

    Chapter Two-part three

    Can every ten men be a Minyan or are there other conditions?

    Rabbi Eliezer Melamed
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    P'ninat Mishpat

    Historical View of Rav Mordechai Yaakov Breish (Chelkat Yaakov)

    Various Rabbis | 5775
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    Happy Occasions

    Fasting and Feasting on a Yahrzeit

    “My father’s yahrzeit falls during the week of sheva brachos for my grandson. May I attend the sheva brachos?” "My yahrzeit falls on Shabbos this year. Do I fast on Friday or Sunday instead?" "I usually fast on my father’s yahrzeit, but someone is honoring me with sandaka’us on that day. Do I fast, and do I need to be matir neder in the event that it is permitted to eat?"

    Rabbi Yirmiyohu Kaganoff
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    Revivim

    Halakha on Abortion of Fetuses with Severe Abormalities

    A fetus is considered a living entity in regards to certain laws, but there is no penalty of death for taking its life. What do the rabbinical decisors say?

    Rabbi Eliezer Melamed
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    Jewish Holidays

    The Twentieth of Sivan

    "I noticed that the back of my siddur contains a large section devoted to selichos for the 20th of Sivan, yet I have never davened in a shul that observed this day. What does this date commemorate?"

    Rabbi Yirmiyohu Kaganoff | Sivan 17 5780
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    The Giving of the Torah

    The Day of the Rains and the Giving of the Torah

    According to our Sages, The Day of the Rain is as great as, or even greater than the day of the Giving of the Torah. The basis for this comparison is discussed in depth, as well as additional aspects of the connection between the rains and the Torah.

    Rabbi Uzi Kalchaim zt"l | 5770
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    The Torah Perspective

    Secular Zionism in the Eyes of Rav Kook.

    How can we understand the rebellion against religion over the past century? What does the world gain spiritually from this rebellion which was foreseen in the mishna 1,800 years ago as part of the period preceding the mashiach? Only after we understand the rebellion can we glean the benefit and relate to our brothers properly.

    Rabbi Ari Shvat | 5769
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    Redemption - Geula

    When Moshiach Comes

    A summary of the different Brachot we will bless when the Moshiach will walk through the door.

    Rabbi Yirmiyohu Kaganoff | Iyar 5768
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    Marriage and Relationships

    The Role of Parents in Marriage

    Today, parents can fulfill the commandment of marrying off their children by providing them with a good education at prestigious schools, supporting them so that they be able to learn a profession, and clothing them in attractive attire.

    Rabbi Eliezer Melamed | 5764
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