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The gemara (Nedarim 20b) teaches us that one can impact his children even before they are conceived, going through nine improper behaviors that can leave the resulting offspring spiritually blemished. The major theme is that the parents’ relations must take place within a spirit of trust, ethics, and proper regard towards one’s partner. The Shulchan Aruch (Even Haezer 25:8-9) rules that it is forbidden to have relations while withholding one’s plans to get divorced or to be drunk during relations. The idea is simple. A joint life is based on trust, mutual respect, and unparalleled closeness. Someone who hides his intention to divorce and goes on in this regard as if nothing is wrong, breaks the basic trust which is at the heart of the whole relationship.
Let us bring an example of the above from Tanach. Shmuel I:25 deals with a severe dispute between David and Naval as to what makes one king. Avigail was Naval’s wife, and the navi refers to her as "of good intellect." Chazal count her as one of the seven prophetesses (Megilla 14a) and a tzadeket (Mishna, Sanhedrin 2:4), and she taught David, her future husband, a lesson about the halachot of kingship. Despite her greatness, she did not merit being the mother of the Davidic dynasty of kings. Not only was her son not appointed to succeed David, but she is referred to as "the wife of Naval Hacarmeli" (Shmuel I:30:5) even after Naval’s death and her marriage to David. Why does she receive this treatment?
The gemara says that her prophecy was that David would be king after the deaths of Shaul and her husband, on condition that David would not seize the throne by force. After informing David all these things, she tried to ensure a role as queen by hinting to David that he should marry her after her husband died (Shmuel I, 25:31), as David seemed to understand and accept (ibid. 35). The gemara (Bava Kama 92b) metaphorically identified Avigail’s intention in her veiled speech. The navi continues that when Avigail returned home from meeting David, she found Naval drunk, and the language applies that they had relations (compare ibid. 36 to Bereishit 16:4, 29:23, & 29:30). This was inappropriate on several grounds, including that he was drunk and that she was planning to marry David. Therefore, this otherwise great woman was punished in that her marriage to David never reached its potential – she was still known as Naval’s wife and did not merit being the mother of royalty. This story can thus be a source for the gemara’s stress of proper mindsets and behavior when involved in intimacy.
May we all merit having offspring who find favor in the eyes of Hashem and man, which, we have seen, is aided when the parents have the proper relationship based on ethics and trustworthiness.
The Mitzvah of Settling the Land Land of Israel: G-d-Given Right or Legal Right?
Translated by Hillel Fendel
Rabbis in Midrash
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The Land of Israel LGBT'S IN ISRAEL
The question was asked, how can one make Aliyah with the LGBT parades?
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 7 - Five Accumulative Proofs of G-d
As a preparation for the Kuzari's classic proof of G-d from the mass-revelation at Sinai, we start here with 5 other directions to strengthen our belief which also contribute to what the Kuzari will present as well.
Ein Aya Muscle & Meaning: The Dual Nature of Gevurah (Physical Strength)
Is physical strength and fitness a necessity or an ideal? Although it if often totally overlooked among topics of Judaism, Rav Kook writes that it clearly is also a necessity to deter the many enemies of Israel, but even in Y'mot HaMashiach, in the Messianic era, to a certain extent, it's ideal continues even after our enemies will have been finished off.
Chukat "HOW ENTEBBE STOLE THE BICENTENNIAL
The Difference Between Historic & Eternal"
As we approach America's 250th birthday, it's worth remembering her 200th Bicentennial birthday, on Jul. 4th 1976, when Israel "stole the show" by shocking the world & miraculously saving 101 hostages in a foreign continent. As Pres. As Pres. Trump decides which countries get priority in his new Middle-East, it's worth reminding him of the difference between historic events and eternally historic ones. This obviously connects with this week's parsha, as well!
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 6 - The Parable of the King of India
The advantages of testimony over circumstantial evidence or philosophical speculation.
Kuzari -Rabbi Ari Shvat Kuzari class 5- "Proofs of G-d"
This may be the most important class of the entire book, where we finally get to the Jewish proof of the existence of G-d and truth of the Torah. We should follow His own direction where He tells us how to get to Him: through the Nation of Israel: Jewish history, Jewish prophets (and today, prophecies fulfilled), and national reward & punishment towards Am Yisrael.
Ein Aya One Humanity, One Creator, One Jerusalem
Rav Kook innovatively and beautifully explains this aggadeta where our sages say that after Jerusalem was destroyed her cinnamon fragrance is only found locked in a particular kingdom's treasury.