Question: May an avela in the first year mourning for a parent attend an upsherin? If so, should there be any gift given and should she inquire first if there will be music? Thank you
Answer: After Shloshim one may participate in the event but should not participate in the festive meal, however one may have a taste of the of the food. (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 391:b,Pnei Baruch pg.459). You should inquire in regard to music and if there is music you should not participate.