Ask the Rabbi

  • Family and Society
  • Conversion

Marriage

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Rabbi Elchanan Lewis

4 Kislev 5765
Question
I am a christian (orthodox). I love a jewish woman for 20 years but I didn’t ask her to marry me because I didn’t want to hurt her parents and jeopardize her future. Now I regret this. I follow my christian traditions only because I observe my parents’ tradition. I still love very much that woman and I suffer a lot because of my love. Why God doesn’t make me forget my love? Why I can not make her happy, if I love her?
Answer
The G-d of Israel – the creator of the heavens and the earth is proud of you. Abstaining from the wrong is a great thing. Jews must not marry non Jews unless they convert, and the responsibility and liability for that is on both parties – the Jewish and the non Jewish. Your pain will lighten if you really understand that you have done the right thing by not approaching her. You must remove your thoughts from her by finding another girl to love – and thank G-d you have a larger variety to pick from. Similarly you can seek professional help to help you overcome the pain. May G-d bless you.
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