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Friend who is off the derech


Rabbi Ari Shvat

Hi, I have lost touch with an old friend and now she has gone completely off the derech. The only connection we have is that once in a while I’ll text her an old picture of us, but really that’s it. I don’t think she keeps shabbos. Her body is covered with tattoos. What can I do to help her? I want to help her become frum again. I also feel like it’s a little bit my fault that I didn’t stay friends with her back when she started doing some things that weren’t so right. If I would’ve stayed friends with her then she could have still been frum. Thank you for your time in answering my question.
Experience shows that most people who are brought up religious and leave is because of a family, social or emotional problem, and not so much because of philosophical questions. All religious people also have questions, but to take the step to change one’s life-style and rebel against that which is dearest to one’s parents, is usually a call for help or a cry for attention, firstly from one’s parents, but also from friends. It may also be that she was “turned-off” by a certain teacher, and needs to be “turned-on” again. Befriend her again, invite her out for coffee and discuss her personal issues, and you’ll probably see that the conversation will be especially meaningful to her. Regarding the way and topics suggested for bringing her back and proving the truth of Torah, search here on the site for my answer to the question: Belief- How can I know there's a God? Let's also daven that you should succeed in helping your friend find her way!
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