- All the Questions
Symbolism of Wedding "Badeken" & Cosmetic Surgery
Question
Your response to the issue of cosmetic surgery is somewhat confusing. As I understand it, a bride is veiled by her groom at the wedding so as to show that he is not marrying her for her physical beauty, but for the beauty of her soul. Is there another understanding to Bedeken that I am missing?
Answer
The halachic reason for the Bedeken is that this intimate act where the bride allows the groom to “dress” her, is already the beginning of the marriage. Like by many issues, once a custom or mitzvah is instituted, many additional symbolisms and reasons, like the one you mentioned, are suggested to enhance and embellish understanding and identification. For example, some explain that it’s for reasons of modesty, so that the participants shouldn’t gaze at the beauty of the bride, obviously dressed attractively, who is in the process of becoming a married woman and “off-limits” to others, while others add that it commemorates Rivka’s covering herself with a veil when she meets and marries Yitzchak, Breishit 24, 65.
In addition, as I wrote previously and as every married couple knows, the physical attraction between man and wife are not only desirous but totally necessary. The Living Torah is very practical and pragmatic (unlike the Catholic approach), knowing that this beautiful Godly magnetism is the “oil” that enables the “apparatus” of marriage to function well. To improve your suggested explanation, I would suggest that the Bedekin may also symbolize that the physical beauty or attraction is not the most important part of the soul-mate relationship, but we definitely don’t see it as something negative or undesirable.
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why is there suffering in the world?
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Iyyar 3, 5782

Intimate Relations Between a Jewish woman and Gentile man
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Iyyar 3, 5782

Rabbi Ari Shvat
Lectures at various yeshivot, michlalot and midrashot. Has published many books & Torani articles and is in charge of Rav Kook’s archives.

Bircat baalat habayit
Shevat 7, 5771

Ayin hara and Rambam
Tevet 28, 5771

Orla
Shevat 19, 5771

Bircat baalat habayit 2
Adar I 23, 5771

Shabbat
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Iyyar 14, 5782

Necktie for Jews
Rabbi Yoel Lieberman | Iyyar 11, 5782
Is the Ketubah valid
Rabbi Daniel Kirsch | Iyyar 12, 5782
