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Ask the rabbi Family and Society

Seeing my Kallah before the wedding

Rabbi Jonathan Blass10 Sivan 5763
Am I oblidged not to see my Kallah during the week before our wedding or may I see up till three days before the wedding?
The seven days of separation is a minhag only. There were places where the chatan and the kallah would see each other for the first time on the evening before the wedding at a party given by both families. If you or your kallah have a strongly rooted minhag in the family to keep a 7 day separation and you feel it essential to see your kallah face to face, do a hatarat nedarim (similar to what you do before Rosh HaShana except this time you mention the minhag). You might be aware however that the minhag has value in terms of human relations because it is likely that the week before the wedding you and your kallah are under stress and it is easy to get into a fight. B'Shaah Tova
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