- Family and Society
Is divorce bad or wrong as it seems from Malachi?
Question
If divorce is not a sin according to Judaism why does God say in Malachi that He hates it?
Answer
Yes it’s clear from Malachi 2, 14 that divorce is generally negative and considered an affront and offensive to “your companion, the woman with whom you made a covenant”. If it’s very wrong to offend anybody’s nose or weight, how much more so is it offensive to tell your partner, “I can’t stand living with you”, especially after all she did for you, including revealing her innermost secrets and intimacy. One cannot say this isn’t offensive or a moral problem. In addition, a normal couple who decided to get married, obviously at one point did have certainty and clarity that the match has a good and workable starting-point. If they both invest the proper love, altruism, giving and mutual consideration, that positive partnership will definitely gradually grow stronger and stronger with every occurring pleasure and challenge. If it doesn’t, that clearly infers (although not always, but generally) that there was not proper effort or patience invested in those aforementioned essential and indispensable issues. The Rambam points out that the Tanach generally refers to the average case and not to the exception, and the above lack of effort, giving and tolerance, is clearly the most common scenario which leads to divorce. It could have and should have been avoided, and all would have gained.
In addition, it is clearly painful to the children involved, so obviously, when possible otherwise, it’s clearly not the preferable or moral choice.
Nevertheless, Judaism differs strongly with Catholicism, in that almost all mistakes in life where man chose wrong, he can correct by choosing right, including that rare case when one clearly married the wrong spouse. The most common scenario is when one’s choice was blinded by secondary factors, like being overpowered by intensive physical attraction, which should not be the most decisive issue, for that inevitably weakens with time (albeit the physical separation laws of family purity, when practiced properly and together with the aforementioned proper meta-physical love, giving and mutual consideration, which can significantly extend it’s vitality). Just like anger is also generally negative and undesirable, but in that rare case, sometimes it’s necessary.

Divorced mother without a get
Rabbi David Sperling | Kislev 23, 5775

Wrong spouse
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Shevat 8, 5775

Rabbi Ari Shvat
Lectures at various yeshivot, michlalot and midrashot. Has published many books & Torani articles and is in charge of Rav Kook’s archives.

Fasting or giving Tzedaka on seeing Sefer Torah fallen
Shevat 7, 5771

Bircat baalat habayit
Shevat 7, 5771

Orla
Shevat 19, 5771

Goyim at Shul/hashkafah of Shul
Adar II 1, 5771

Bracha on water
Rabbi Elchanan Lewis | Cheshvan 16, 5769
Genesis 24: 2-9 – Put your hand under my thigh
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | Tevet 26, 5770
Genesis 24: 2-9 – Put your hand under my thigh
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | Tevet 26, 5770

Mezzuzah for Non Jew
Rabbi David Sperling | Iyyar 18, 5773
rafael or refael
Rabbi Daniel Kirsch | Iyyar 27, 5783

touching of spouse in aninus and aveilus
Rabbi Yoel Lieberman | Sivan 5, 5783

Solar fan
Rabbi Yoel Lieberman | Sivan 17, 5783
