Is not my husband obliged to do everything he can to please me?
Not everything that brings pleasure is permitted. For example, behavior that results in semen being spilled is forbidden. There are other forms of behavior not totally forbidden but that are considered immodest and unseemly. These- a Jew should strive to avoid, as he/she develops the ability to fight and overcome more prurient instincts. If you have a good marital relationship, you and your spouse should try to work things out as you together in-still greater sanctity into your relationship- enjoying the physical side of that relationship all the while.