- Family and Society
- Obeying One's Parents
- Family and Society
- Engagement
312
Question
What would the following scripture mean today? Exodus 22:17 - If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. For example, what if a young lady, age 19, decides she wants to get married, albeit, without the blessing of her parents (and for good reasons why the parents won?t attend the wedding)? How would the Orthodox Talmud & Rabbis view this issue in the 21st Century?
Answer
ב"ה
The question you are asking is "Can a child marry the person her choice against the will of her parents?"
The context of the verse you quoted is on a different issue.
It is written in the Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 140:25), the Code of Jewish law, that a child does not have to accept the opinion of his or her parent when choosing a spouse.
There is no doubt that these situations are painful for the child and parents alike and therefore professional counselling is needed for which a Rabbi is not necessarily qualified. It is important for the child and the parents that a new marriage starts in a pleasant atmosphere.
All the best.

Punishment of children for the parents’ sins
Rabbi Elchanan Lewis | 27 Shevat 5766

Honoring parental requests that don’t benefit the parents
Rabbi Yoel Lieberman | Tishrei 23, 5779

If a Parent forbids something does a child have to listen...
Rabbi David Sperling | Cheshvan 8, 5779

Makom Kavua- Set Place at the table
Various Rabbis | Kislev 17, 5771

Loshon Hora
Rabbi Chaim Tabasky | Tammuz 28, 5768

Renouncing my Judaism
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Av 2, 5771

Renouncing my Judaism
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Av 2, 5771

One oven--baking meat, milk, pareve
Rabbi Eli Clark | Kislev 14, 5772

Older Kohen marriage to a Divorced Jewess.
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Sivan 15, 5785

The Levush and Hillel
Rabbi Yoel Lieberman | Sivan 19, 5785

Stone setting
Rabbi Yoel Lieberman | Sivan 19, 5785
