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Relationship with X After Divorce

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Rabbi Yoel Lieberman

Cheshvan 23, 5773
Question
I have been divorced for over 6 yr from my x-husband and have had a good relationship with him regarding speaking, etc. Recently he sent me an email that it is time to consummate the divorce as he does not feel we should have been speaking unless it was involving the kids (which most of of conversations were about). He quoted that halachically we should have been doing this from the beginning. Can you please clarify what is the halacha regarding speaking to your divorced partner. Thank you and shabbat shalom.
Answer
I think for questions of these situations it always best to consult a Rabbi personally to offer the best guidance and more detail. Nonetheless I will do my best to provide you with some guidelines. The general aim in Halacha is that once a couple is divorced they should not live in proximity of one another; they should lessen contact with each other and avoid business and legal dealings. All this is to avoid a situation in which they may desire one another physically and possibly sin. I don't think it would be correct to say that this is the case while speaking over the phone particularly if it is in regard to your children. If it is in regard to other things the same halachic standards that apply to any man speaking to another woman over the phone would apply to a man speaking to his ex -wife. (Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 119, Rav Ezra Batzri, Piskei Din Rabaniyim vol. 10 pg. 209-210.)
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