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  • Family and Society
  • Separation between Men and Women

forgiving a man who wants an affair


Rabbi David Sperling

Iyyar 3, 5782
Hello, I’m married and for some time now I’m receiving invitations from a client who wants to have an affair with me. I said no. He said that I should forgive him. Should I forgive him and continue my work with him or should I stop my work with him?
Shalom, Thank you for your question. There are two issues involved here. The first is forgiving, and the second is continuing to work with the man in question. When it comes to forgiving, if he has truly repented of his ways, and resolves not to approach you with such sinful ideas, then, yes you should try to find it in you to forgive him. You should even convey to him that you forgive him. Of course, that is only if he repents of his sin. If he does not think he did anything wrong, and his idea of “forgiveness” is to think that he did not act inappropriately, then there is no reason to come around to his (incorrect and sinful) way of seeing things. However, when it comes to working with him, that would be a very bad idea. Even if he resolves to change his ways, the mere knowledge that he was willing to sin with you will always be somewhere in the back of your (and his) mind. In today’s world, unfortunately, a person has to make efforts to distance themselves from sin. Especially these types of sin. You should explain to him that even though you forgive him, it would be best for both of you, to not have a working relationship with him, that will bring you both into further temptation. Blessings.
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