- Hatarat Nedarim - Annulment of Vows
Hi, As some background to my question, I have wet dreams a lot more frequently than most people (Ive discussed this with my rosh yeshiva who explained that I am not responsible for them in my particular situation given these are caused by anxiety). I used to say tikkun haklali after having a wet dream - this might have been considered a neder (having done this minhag tov 3 times) but several weeks ago I found out this was cancelled by hatoras nedarim from erev RH. In the past few weeks, Ive continued to say tikkun klali in cases I feel I mightve been more responsible for (to be clear I dont actively seek inappropriate material etc, but I still felt somewhat responsible). Does this take on the force of a neder after 3 times? Thank you!
Shalom, Thank you for your question. In general you are correct that even a good minhag done three times does not become a binding neder if one said hatarat nederim or kol nidrei. It seems that you might get caught up in an over concern about what is or isn’t a neder – which certainly will only add to your anxiety. In order to avoid this, you might find it helpful to know that if you verbally state (even alone) “I hereby declare that no action or statement of mine will be binding as a neder – and that all I say and do from this moment on will be bli neder”. You could make such a statement once a year and you will not have to worry any more about this issue at all. (In effect that is what you already did with hatarat nedarim – but making such a statement again will certainly put your mind at rest). Blessings.