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Weddings on yartzeit for a parent

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Rabbi David Sperling

Iyyar 22, 5772
Question
I have been reading about going to a wedding on ones yartzeit. It is explicit in the SA but What is the bottom line please?
Answer
Shalom, On the night of the yahrzeit of one's father or mother, one is forbidden to take part in a group meal. Likewise, one is forbidden to do so on the day of the yahrzeit, even if one is not fasting. Some rule that this prohibition applies only to a wedding feast; but other meals are permitted, whether or not they are mitzvah meals. Others rule that the meal of a brit millah is also forbidden. Some rule that this prohibition applies only on the first yahreit [quoted from Mourning In Halacha, Rav Goldberg, 44,23]. If you, or your community, do not have fixed custom, or ruling, in this issue, my inclination is to rule leniently and allow attending even a wedding on the night of the yahrzeit (after the first year), as this ruling is quoted in the Chamat Adam, and other latter day codifiers, thus giving it much halachic weight. Blessings
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