Ask the Rabbi

  • Family and Society
  • The Shloshim



Rabbi David Sperling

Tevet 8, 5781
Hi! Someone asked me this: The shloshim for his father ends on shabbos. Motzei shabbos is his son’s 13th Hebrew birthday. As far as shaving and cutting hair is concerned, he would want to do that for the bar mitzvah birthday but it’s motzei shabbos. Is it better to do that on erev shabbos even though it’s still the shloshim period or is it better to wait and do that on motzei shabbos? Thanks!
Shalom, Thank you for your question. When the shloshim falls out on Shabbat, some of the restrictions of the shloshim are permitted already in Friday, but some have to wait until after Shabbat. Those that relate to things that are technically permitted, but we are acustemed to be strict for the 30, are allowed on Friday – this includes bathing and returning to their normal seat in shule (See the Rema Yoreh Deah 400,2). On the other hands, those things that are forbidden by the letter of the law during the shloshim, must wait until after Shabbat – this includes haircuts and the like (Degul MeRevavah ibid). Blessings.
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