Am I considered a non-Jew if I dont keep Shabbat?
Question
Hi,
Im a Jewish woman who adheres to halacha to varying degrees; I have a kosher kitchen, dont keep Shabbat entirely according to halacha but do observe Shabbat in other ways (turning my phone off, lighting before shabbos, etc).
My best friend, a married woman, is an Ashkenazi Jew and in the Yeshivish community.
While she was sitting shiva she had some chicken nuggets cooking in the toaster oven for her kids. She was in the bathroom so when the timer went off, I turned it back on as to continue cooking the chicken nuggets. She came back, asked me if I turned it back on, and it was clear that there was an issue.
Her vague response-explanation was that I cant turn it on because I dont keep Shabbat.
I think that was code for, "I dont consider you to be Jewish because you dont keep all halachos".
Her and her husband talked it through and deemed it OK, but I was (and still am) very hurt. I havent spoken to her about it yet, but would like to.
Im wondering two things:
1)Did her concern have any halachic standing, or is that a common minhag?
2) How do you think I should approach asking her about this?
Thanks,
R
Answer
Shalom
I think that there was a bit of a misunderstanding in this case.
If a non Jew touches wine then the wine is not kosher since there is a concern that the gentile worships idolatry and used the wine for idol worship. Historically this applied to irreligious Jews who were also used to worshipping idols. Thus the law was that if a non Jew or an irreligious Jew touches wine the wine could not be drunk.
Even though the circumstances may be different today we do not simply change laws and so the law remains.
There is a different law that food cooked by a non Jew is potentially not kosher for two reasons. Either since they may have added not kosher ingredients or simply to keep a distance from gentiles. This law does not apply to irreligious Jews.
So in short there is a Halachic basis for her concern but it is misinformed. I would tell her that you were a little offended and I am sure she will apologise and explain her concern.
This is not a slur on your religious nature or your connection with the Creator and should not be viewed as such.
Kol tuv
Rabbi Gideon Weitzman
Works at the Puah Institution of Fertility and medicine according to halacha.
Yichud at work
11 Adar I 5763
Masturbation
8 Adar I 5763
Early Mikveh visit
15 Adar I 5763
Shaitel and shaving of the head
5 Nisan 5763

When does the Jewish day begin?
Rabbi David Sperling | Nisan 10, 5775

Bracha at cemetery
Various Rabbis | 7 Nisan 5766
Jewelry for men
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | Adar 21, 5770
Jewelry for men
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | Adar 21, 5770

Organization
Various Rabbis | Shevat 10, 5783
How to split expenses for a group event
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | Shevat 9, 5783
CAN A CHALAL MARRY A DIVORCED WOMAN ?
Rabbi Gideon Weitzman | Tevet 23, 5783
