Ask the rabbi

Advice for a succesful marriage

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Rabbi Ari Shvat

Sivan 11, 5779
Question
What advice would you give before getting married and for all life to be with a wife?
Answer
A couple who decides to get married, obviously have a clarity that the match has a good and workable potential and starting-point. If both partners invest the proper love, altruism, giving and mutual consideration and respect, that positive partnership will definitely gradually grow stronger and stronger over time, with every occurring pleasure and challenge you face together. Everyone should try and give, to bring as much pleasure to the other as possible, and that way you will each mutually gain and enjoy your relationship. In addition, it's very important to focus on the other’s virtues (which everyone has), and not on their short-comings (which everyone also has!). Praise and compliment rather than criticize. Observance of Family Purity is of the utmost importance. The most common problem in marriage is to grow tired of each other, so when you temporary separate from intimate relations on a regular basis, and then get back together again physically, there is a renewal of the intimate pleasure, and you should never get too used to each other.
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