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tzedaka - disagreement among couple how much to give


Rabbi Ari Shvat

Iyyar 29, 5779
My husband is a very special person, a true Torah scholar with wonderful Middot. By nature, he is very careful and does not spend much on himself. I am totally fine with it, besides for one area. I feel that according to our income we should be giving more Tzedaka than we do. I am not sure that we give 10 percent. If I ask him he will allow me to give more, but I see that he is not very happy about it. I strongly feel that whatever we give within our means will be repaid to us and we will reap the rewards for this tremendous Mitzvah. Is it right for me to ask him to give more tzedaka, or should I just let him decide and not mix in?
I must firstly admire your respect for your husband, for it's all too often, over time, for spouses to turn their focus upon the shortcomings of their beloved and forget that mutual respect and love which originally brought their attraction. There are many different ways of figuring that 10% to Tzedaka and I have no doubt that your husband is familiar with them (e.g. figuring after taxes; taking off for Torah education; figuring volunteered time as tzedaka, etc.). If it seems to be a sensitive issue, it would be a shame for this to mar your Shalom Bayit and admiring relationship. You can surely give him enough credit that he knows how to give the proper amount of tzedaka.
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