May an avela in the first year mourning for a parent attend an upsherin? If so, should there be any gift given and should she inquire first if there will be music? Thank you
After Shloshim one may participate in the event but should not participate in the festive meal, however one may have a taste of the of the food. (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 391:b,Pnei Baruch pg.459). You should inquire in regard to music and if there is music you should not participate.