Can a widow who has remarried attend the aliya l’kever on her first husband’s yahrtzeit?

Erev Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av 5770 According to the Gesher Hachaim going to the kever of a first spouse is dependent upon the approval of the current spouse. However, Rav Mordechai Eliyahu zt"l (in his book Zror Hachaim) says that the spouse should not go rather only the children. Besorot Tovot.