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Bachur speaking to a girl


Rabbi Jonathan Blass

19 Adar I 5763
Is a bochur allowed to speak to a girl for friendship not for a shidduch. Now that r’ Moishe Feinstien wrote in the Igeres moishe that there are 6 laavim if a bochur speaks to a girl not for a shiduch?
You are probably referring to Shu”t Iggrot Moshe Even HaEzer 4,60. There is no mention of six laavim although HaRav Feinstein writes that it is an issur Torah for a boy to develop- just for the fun of it- a relationship that includes a romantic/ sexual element with a girl. When old enough to be considering a romantic attachment seriously, he should be serious about finding the appropriate woman to marry. The teshuva is not talking for example about speaking to a woman about work or study related issues as long as there is no romantic or sexual attraction involved.
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