- Family and Society
- General Questions
I have a serious issue that I have been unable to turn to any local rabbinic advisor. I have homosexual tendencies which I have been able to control for most of my life. I have lived a life guided by Torah values and will continue to do so and attempt to repress the yetzer harah that Hashem has found it necessary to instill in me. Science aside, I believe this to be of a hereditary nature due to the fact that I know other members of my family (both immediate and extended) have the same tendencies. My question revolves around the question of raising a family. My wife and I are expecting and I am frozen with fear that the child will have the same tendencies. Am I decreeing that this child live a life of torment and horror as I have? Although I would like to say that the thoughts I had during relations were pure, I cannot say for sure. If I knew that a child of mine would have some other disease, would I even consider having a child? Please do not suggest counseling. I pray to G-d each day but have gotten no relief. How do I watch a child grow always wondering if they too are afflicted with this yetzer harah?
Frist of all, I admire you and the great powers you possess. Second, you should acknowledge that your child isn't only yours. Your wife also took part, and so did G-d, so you aren't the chief participant. So even if you were a negative person, the child is better because of the other participants in his making. But the main thing I want to tell you is that you are a good G-d fearing man. You have done tremendous work during your life - well done! G-d gave you a purpose and you are fulfilling it well. Your child will have one too - and you will help him fulfill it honorably. We don't know what it will be. It is safe too assume he will have a pupose different than yours. But even if he has a bit of what you do, it can't be really similar. You know that such tendecies have different levels of difficulty. We don't determine them. G-d sends souls like yours to repair this issue. We receive our missions from G-d and do them happily. King Chizkya was supposed to die because he didn't want to have children. He said it was because he had a prophecy saying his son will be wicked. He was answered that he must do his part, and G-d will do his. Good for you that you plan on having children. You will do your part, and G-d will do his. May you have many children, and childrens' children. G-d will determine their powers and souls. Have a good year, Rabbi Yosef Weitzen