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What must I tell my future wife


Rabbi Gideon Weitzman

22 Nisan 5765
Shalom, I am currently in a relationship which is getting quite serious. Unfortunately i had a problem for over a year, when from time to time i wasted seed. I have stopped this for a while now, but i know it says in the kitsur shulchan aruch that one who committed this sin could lose his kids, or they could become wicked people. I told her that i gave into my taivah’s in the past, but never explained the details. Must i tell her about the wasting seed in particular? Im worried that i wont meet someone as frum as her and i dont want to end the relationship based on past mistakes.
Shalom U'verachah, Hashem commanded us to always keep all of His mitzvot but He also gave us the opportunity to do teshuvah. If you are determined not to repeat this and you study the laws of kedushah within the marriage and commit to keep them, then you will be able to do true teshuvah for any past deeds. You should not tell any prospective shidduch that you wasted seed as most young people do not understand what this means and why you did this, but most older people know that many people find this mitzvah a big challenge but this does not make you a sinner. You should get married and commit to follow the laws of hilchot niddah. Kol Tuv
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