- Family and Society
- General Questions
What must I tell my future wife
Question
Shalom, I am currently in a relationship which is getting quite serious. Unfortunately i had a problem for over a year, when from time to time i wasted seed. I have stopped this for a while now, but i know it says in the kitsur shulchan aruch that one who committed this sin could lose his kids, or they could become wicked people.
I told her that i gave into my taivah’s in the past, but never explained the details. Must i tell her about the wasting seed in particular? Im worried that i wont meet someone as frum as her and i dont want to end the relationship based on past mistakes.
Answer
Shalom U'verachah,
Hashem commanded us to always keep all of His mitzvot but He also gave us the opportunity to do teshuvah. If you are determined not to repeat this and you study the laws of kedushah within the marriage and commit to keep them, then you will be able to do true teshuvah for any past deeds. You should not tell any prospective shidduch that you wasted seed as most young people do not understand what this means and why you did this, but most older people know that many people find this mitzvah a big challenge but this does not make you a sinner.
You should get married and commit to follow the laws of hilchot niddah.
Kol Tuv

Advice for a succesful marriage
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Sivan 11, 5779

Hashkafah & not telling the truth on Dates
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Tevet 3, 5781

My Daughter
Rabbi Elchanan Lewis | 16 Iyyar 5767

Shidduchim/marriage
Rabbi Baruch Finkelstein | 22 Cheshvan 5768
Rabbi Gideon Weitzman
Works at the Puah Institution of Fertility and medicine according to halacha.
Mixed seating
4 Sivan 5763
Can a husband be present at his child’s birth?
4 Adar I 5763
Proper attire for swimming
27 Adar II 5763
Head Covering for Unmarried Women
18 Sivan 5763

When does the Jewish day begin?
Rabbi David Sperling | Nisan 10, 5775

On which day may one start wishing "Shabbat Shalom"?
Rabbi David Sperling | Iyyar 9, 5780
Genesis 24: 2-9 – Put your hand under my thigh
Rabbi Moshe Leib Halberstadt | Tevet 26, 5770

Mezzuzah for Non Jew
Rabbi David Sperling | Iyyar 18, 5773

chelev oblation
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Elul 25, 5783

Moser
Rabbi David Sperling | Elul 24, 5783

Tefillos Rosh Hashanah
Rabbi Ari Shvat | Tishrei 3, 5784
