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Taking Names Off Wedding Ketubah

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Rabbi Jonathan Blass

26 Adar 5764
Question
I am getting married and am having a Ketuba made for our wedding. The problem is that in the Ketuba it asks for the name of the Bride’s father and I refuse to put my father’s name on anything important to me. My father had beat me as a child and is a horrible horrible man that has caused much suffering to my family as well as to myself. I am curious to know how to delete him out of the Ketuba. I refuse to have a wedding with the memory of him anywhere.
Answer
The Halacha deals with how to refer to someone who is the son/daughter of a person so wicked that his name shouldn't be mentioned (Trumat HaDeshen I 21; Shu"t HaR'ma 41; Shu"t Binyamin Zeev 204; R'ma Orach Chayyim 139 3). You must discuss the issue with the rabbi who is performing the Kiddushin and after assessing your situation I have no doubt that he will find an appropriate solution. May you build a happy and strong home in Israel! B'shaa Tova!
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