Question
My wife and I are members of an orthodox shul, and my wife’s parents are members of a walking distance conservative shul. For the past 10 years we have joined my inlaws for the Yamim Noraim at the conservative shul. As I have continued to learn and pursue T’shuva, I no longer feel comfortable davening at the conservative shul.
Is there any problem of me davening in my shul and then walking to the conservative shul and joining my inlaws for the end of Mussaf (without participating in the service). Our arrival is expected and moreso now that we have two little ones.
How do I handle this situation and balance Halacha with Shalom Bayit between myself and my wife, and my family and my inlaws?
Answer
As the end of your question indicates, there is a problem of being in a Conservative Temple and your dilemma arises from how to balance this with Shalom Bayit. The educational problem is more serious now that you have children who may conclude from your presence at a heterodox service that the Conservatives are, as it were, an acceptable alternative.
What is your wife's feeling? How open are your in-laws to understanding your beliefs? How will you explain to your children that Conservative Judaism is seriously misguided? Do you have alternatives enabling you to maintain Shalom Bayit?
