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Broken Engagement


Rabbi Jonathan Blass

22 Elul 5763
I have an engagement ring from my two-years-old broken engagement. Now I am soon-to-be hosson and have a question for you. Should I get a new ring and sell the old one? Or may I keep the old ring and just change the setting? The ring has become quite dear to me and it’s an expensive one too, but I am not sure if it is the right thing to do to present the ring which was originally intended for someone else. While writing the above question I realized that I have another question. The girl I am dating with does not know about my past broken engagement. Should I keep quiet and let he find this out from someone else in our community or should I tell her the truth right away and hopefully she’ll be able to absorb the information adequately? Thank you very much,
If you feel that your fiancee would consider it important to know about your previous engagement you must tell her about it. You are not allowed to mislead her deliberately into a marriage that she would not have agreed to knowing the facts. Moreover, if she believes you tried to deceive her about something she considers important, how will she be able to trust you in the future? If, however, you feel that she didn't ask you any questions about other women you've dated because it's unimportant to her- you needn't bring it up. If you think she may feel insulted knowing she received from you an engagement ring intended for another, you should buy her another ring.
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